Monday, October 1, 2012

Angelina Jolie "born to play" Cold, Unfeeling Queen? Get Outta Town


                 According to E! News Online, Don Hahn (rhymsies!), the producer of Sleeping Beauty, Angelina Jolie is "perfect" for the role, drawing details from her own past, apparently.  He says she "looks like the character...is a gorgeous beautiful woman who has a past and is perfect for [the role]."
    
             So, she's beautiful enough inside and out to play an evil queen with horns hell-bent on ruining another woman's life?  And what is this past that the queen had in Sleeping Beauty?  Was she a down on her luck prostitute who left the game to prick little girls with spindles that make them sleep forever?  Ah yes, the parallels are endless...

If they ever unfreeze Walt Disney's head:

Disney Executive: Oh sir! you've missed so much!  We re-did Sleeping Beauty with-wait for it-Angelina Jolie!
Walt Disney: That's a no-go for me.  We're all about Aniston over here.
Disney Executive: But sir...
Walt Disney: No buts! I love that Rachel.  Are they on a break, not on a break? Who knows? She's so wacky!  And the monkey...I love that monkey.
Disney Executive: Okay, back in the freezer...
Walt Disney: What's that?
Disney Executive: Nothing.

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