Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I See London, I See France . . . Eww, London Crapped His Underpants

The more normal part of the London twins, Jason London was arrested early Sunday morning in Scottsdale, Arizona and proceeded to shit himself in the cop car. Apparently, it went down like this for the 40-year-old thespian: Cops arrived at the Martini Ranch after calls were made about a man bleeding in the street. The man in the street was Jason London, who had been thrown out of the club. Why, might you ask would such a huge Hollywood star be thrown out of a club? Well, this was a night filled with bad manners for Jason. He was thrown out because he sneezed on a bouncer and when the bouncer, reasonably enough, asked for an apology, London punched him in the face. Maybe the bouncer didn't say God Bless You. Paramedics were called to the scene but had a hard time treating London, as he became very aggressive and resistant. Cops had to deliver a knee strike just to keep him seated, to which London called one of the cops a "fucking hilbilly." He was eventually arrested for disorderly conduct/fighting and assault. Whilst in the cop car he let out a slew of homophobic slurs calling the cops faggots, and in proving he was obviously drunk beyond reason saying "I'm rich and I'm a motherfucking famous actor! Fucking look me up bitch." Then, in foreshadowing his next big move, London proclaimed "It smells like shit in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea." According to the police report, London leaned to the left and pooped in his pants. He then said, "I told you I'm happy as shit." Cops spoke to his wife Sofia, whose only explanation is that he is an asshole when he drinks. She also said that Jason has no recollection of the event. Hmmm, maybe his underwear will jog his memory.

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