Hey! Demi Moore isn't Trying to be Younger, She Just Happens to Find Younger Douchey Men Attractive! Is That A Crime?

Well, in some states maybe. Demi Moore has washed the Kutcher out of her hair, and has allegedly taken a lover named Schnabel, Vito Schnabel, which incidentally is David Hasselhoff's favorite dessert when he in his adopted homeland of Germany. Vito is 26, Demi is 50, so you do the math. No, please really, do the math, I can't count, how many years older is she?