We don't know Pete Wells personally, but based on his scathing review in the New York Times of Guy Fieri's new restaurant, Guy's American Kitchen and Bar in Times Square, he not only went to high school with the celebrity chef, but routinely recieved atomic wedgies, was stuffed into his locker and endured countless Purple Nurples from him. Wells' review seems to be a personal attack on Fieri, which normally we would be all for, but this actually seems like a little much, and, like, super snobby. The review starts out, "Guy Fieri, have you eaten at your new restaurant in Times Square? Have you pulled up one of the 500 seats at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar and ordered a meal? Did you eat the food? Did it live up to your expectations? Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute?" Listen, Pete, this is Guy Fieri, not Wolfgang Puck. If you're expecting fancy, and cohesive vocabulary, well, then, Fuck You! And what's wrong with a lot of seating? God Forbid there should be places to sit at a restaurant in New York City. In a retort on The Today Show this morning, Guy says, he thinks this guy has an agenda in knocking him so much. Like we said, Wedgies and Nurples.
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