Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Oh Good-Tiger Woods Told Linsey Vonn What Everyone Already Knew Five Years Ago

Yes-look into the future-is that a failed porn star on the horizon?
 
 
When Tiger Woods posted on Facebook that he and Lindsey Vonn are now officially a couple, the gossip magazines had a collective wet dream and jumped into investigative reporting action.  Via UsWeekly:
 
He confessed everything in his past to her and stuff - they're really into each other," the source tells Us. The number-one ranked golfer's romantic and sexual past is, of course, a lot more public than most people's: Over Thanksgiving weekend in 2009, Woods got into a car crash outside his Florida home after wife of six years Elin Nordegren learned of his affair with nightclub hostess Rachel Uchitel. Over the next few months, over a dozen other women came out of the woodwork revealing flings with Woods, including cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs, who shared an infamous voicemail from a panicked Woods exclusively with Us. 
 
 
Isn't Tiger Woods "confessing everything" a bit like Hitler confessing to the Holocaust? Or me confessing to looking up Rosie O'Donnell nip slips on the internet when I'm at work?  What I'm saying is: Rosie O'Donnell looks like a hot Hitler.  And I'm out of cough syrup.   

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