Thursday, March 14, 2013

Big Surprise: Nicki Minaj was High as Fuck on American Idol

Nicki Minaj missed the beginning of "American Idol" on March 13, 2013. Minaj blamed the traffic in Los Angeles for her delay.
After arriving late to American Idol yesterday, ya know because her drug dealer is an insensitive douche who doesn't consider anyone else's time but his own- I don't care that your daughter needed to take a college tour Jeffrey!-Nicki Minaj plunked herself down in that chair and rattled off about how much she loves buttermilk waffles but only-ONLY if they are served toasted with Aunt Jemima's Buttermilk Maple syrup.  The best part was when she said to a confused hopeful  "and that's what your singing is like". 
 
     I like it when celebrities are all like "yeah waffles, that's you"  because then you know you're ready for Hollywood.  By celebrities I mean the lamp that talks to me when I'm tripping balls and by Hollywood I mean the 7-11 to pick up Beef Jerky-what's that lamp?  You want Mountain Dew?  You know you're just gonna get cavities.  What did you just say to me?  Oh that's right, lamps don't have teeth-well color me embarrassed.
 
 

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