With the presidential election coming up, I've been Google imaging a lot of maps, and what I found was more shocking than which candidate is leading in which state. I found something else that is pretty terrifying: the hipster population is growing exponentially. The good news is this: they travel solely by bike or public transit, so they don't move fast, but folks-watch out: these pretentious douchenozzels are more of a presence than you might think. Here is a map that I spilled ketchup on:
Red=Hipster Invasion |
Ignore them. Hipsters thrive on attention and telling you their reasons for why they won't buy a New York Times Bestseller, listen to Top 40 music, or go to a chain grocery store. They also try to connect with decades past by:
-wearing a bowler hat
-wearing suspenders
-looking like an old-timey saloon keeper
-using a rotary phone
-saying they are an "old soul"
So remember, if you ignore them, their powers are taken away. The most dangerous thing you can do is actually have a conversation with them. It won't end.
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