Joyce at the T.V.

 JUST JOYCE

So, my hipster nieces have been raving about this new show on HBO called Girls. So I gave it a try.  Gee whiz, what a crock! if that's what girls are like these days I'm glad I got out of my lesbian phase in '77. I was totally turned off by this quartet. I feel like it should be called Girls Who Don't Try Very Hard. C'mon ladies, a little lipstick, you know it goes a long way, maybe shut your mouth when an obvious observation about your generation comes into your head. And the sex scenes in this show, oh my word. So the episode I saw was the first one, and I just had to fast forward through the sex scenes between the main character played by Laura.... no what's that... Elaine.....No Lena Didion, Dunham, and her boyfriend? So vague, no clear definition, but I guess that's the point. I don't know about you, but I enjoy a good Newhart episode, where the characters' relationships are clearly defined. Anyway, the sex scenes were just bestial. So I fast forwarded because I hate to sound mean, but it's like neither one of them prepared for this scene, just kind of like went at it like barnyard animals. So, in my day, I was in some amateur B movies, you know nothing you probably seen, just an extra, don't even try looking for them. They probably stopped making them on DVD, and I think all the film was burned in some fire at the warehouse they were being stored at, but anyway what I'm trying to say is I have experience in showbiz and the actors and actresses, before an intimate scene would get like ready and made up for it. If I had to put my money on it, I would guess that Girls does NOT have a hair and makeup department. And the plot is just kind of like, I can't get a job, and I don't like my boyfriend, and I don't like your boyfriend, and lots of socks with Oxfords. Oh yeah, speaking of Newhart though, that's what I wanted to say, Peter Scolari, who played Michael on Newhart is the father of the evil main character, who is trying to bleed he and his wife for more money to support her city living. Poor Peter, but I'm glad to see he's working.

So this show could also be called Girls with Famous Parents, because I was looking up these actors and actresses on world wide web, and it turns out like all of them have parents in the biz. That's what people in show business call it, the biz, just so we are on the same page here. Like the pretty one on the show, her father is Byron.. what Brian oh yeah Brian Williams the newsguy. It's like Hello, how did you get that job? And then Lena, the main character, well her name in the show is Hannah, her mom's like some hoity toity photographer, and there's a friend named Shoshanna I think who's like uber annoying, but that's like David Mamet's daughter, you know the playwright and director. And this other girl in it, the British girl who's slutty, her dad wrote "Bad Company." I used to love that song, but now when I hear it, I'll be thinking of Girls.

So, it's like I don't know if I'm too old to get it, but I just don't understand this show. Like what's the point? And now I hear it has all these Emmy nominations, and I'm like why? The Emmy's used to mean something, they used to be reserved for only attractive people. I'm sorry, but someone had to say it. Why even watch T.V. anymore, everyone on these shows looks like the Joe Schmos I see picking their wedgies walking down the street.  In conclusion, I give Girls no cat paws up, and three judgmental eye rolls.