Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Michael Jordan Tried to Win Kennedy's Virginity in a Dice Game? Hows About No

 
Because who wouldn't want that...hot...nineties...ass-and I just threw up...
 
 
According to her new book The Kennedy Chronicles (why?) irrelevant past MTV VJ Kennedy claims that Michael Jordan gambled with her virginity... via TMZ
 
Kennedy — who was a huge MTV VJ back in the ’90s — details the encounter in her new book “The Kennedy Chronicles” … explaining how she was having dinner with MJ and Russell Simmons at the Bowery Bar in NYC, when Michael broke out some dice.
Before long, Kennedy says, Jordan decided it was “time to play for something” … and said, “If I win, you come back to my hotel room with me tonight.”
Kennedy says she freaked out because she was a virgin –and imagined MJ’s giant penis would “eviscerate me from the inside out” … so she asked if they could play for Knicks tickets instead.
And that’s when Jordan allegedly reminded Kennedy he had a wife — and offered her Nets tickets as a consolation.
“Sure, he’ll filet my vag like a sea bass if he won at dice on a men’s room floor,” Kennedy writes … “but as soon as I want basketball tickets he’s a Promise Keeper? Whatevs.”
 
Here's the thing: I don't find it hard to believe that MJ would cheat on his wife, but I do find it hard to believe that Kennedy would be hanging out with Russell Simmons and Michael Jordan.  And the fact that MJ just carries around dice?  Come on...this just sounds like what every sheltered white girl with glasses believes every black man does.  "oh, and my heavens, what a big penis he had, why, he could barely tap dance with that watermelon he always munchin' on with that monster penis.  Oh, Scarlett, what was I to do?"


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