Welcome to the Circus, Here is Farrah Abraham's Fucking Face

Because she's all about social consciousness, Farrah Abraham shared pics of her plastic surgery gone awry yesterday, with the caption "Girlfriends don't say I didn't warn ya! #BOTCHED California #ER #fixit".  She then compared herself to Leela from Futurama.  

Huh-too bad birth control wan't as much of a priority for her as being a good sport about fucked up plastic surgery is.  Oh what am I saying-if it weren't for her teenage pregnancy, we wouldn't have that porn or her literary genius on record.  Seriously, she wrote fucking books and at least one sold.  Seriously.  This person.  Anyway-enjoy the bullshit. 

Michael Phelps's Intersex Ex Now Doing Hardcore Porn

 

Photo Cred: TMZ

You know, when I was a young whipper snapper dreaming of a career in law or interior decoration with my three closest pals in Atlanta and oh the hijinks we would get into...ahhh sweet Georgia memories...anywho, back to planet earth...I never thought I would be sitting in my tiny little cubicle surrounded by Joan from payroll's goddam Indian takeout containers and writing about this circus.  Anyway, that intersex person who apparently banged Michael Phelps is doing porn.  

I like what I've become.

So Brandi Glanville Lost Her Shit on WWHL

I highly urge you to watch the video above so you fine folks can see what a fucking trainwreck Brandi Glanville is.  If you are like most Americans, and don't know who the fuck Brandi Glanville is-she is the botoxed white wine zombie corpse that Eddie Cibrian left for that skeletor country singer.  ANYWHO...here she is freaking out and crying and being a buffoon of utter proportions in response to a harmless joke delivered by our favorite human of all time, Jeff Lewis.  Enjoy.

Cameron Diaz is Married



So Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden are now a happily married couple, having tied the knot just moments ago in their Beverly Hills home.  So just think, kids...if Benji Madden can marry Cameron Diaz, you could tots ask that girl to prom or win that football game.  Naw I'm just fuckin' with ya...go back to Mario Kart. 

 

 

Kids still play that shit, right?  If not this post is going down in flames and I don't know what to do.  Time to crank call Coolio again...

Teresa Giudice Reports From One Big House to Another

Teresa Giudice left her sprawling New Jersey mansion to report to the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, Connecticut shortly before 3 A.M. Monday morning. Giudice is starting her 15 month sentence for bankruptcy fraud and conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud. Obviously Teresa and her husband Joe committed acts for which they deserve punishment, but it is just so sad when 4 young daughters' lives are affected. Let's hope for their sake an early release for good behavior, or at the very least for good hair!

R.I.P. Stuart Scott

 

This is a very sad day-Stuart Scott, longtime ESPN anchor, has died after a very brave battle with cancer at the young age of 49.  He had it all...charisma, a certain flair, and the best catchphrases that ever made it to the airwaves.  He was an all-around awesome guy and will be sorely missed.  Rest in peace, Stuart, and a final BOO-YAH in your memory.  BOO-YAH, brother.

UPDATE: Here is the video from Stuart's speech at the ESPY's.  This is probably the most touching thing on earth.  We will miss you, man.

 

 



HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Doc Brown

 

Great Scott, he's hot!  P.S. weren't we supposed to have hoverboards this year?