Charlie Sheen Sued For Sexual Battery After Visit To Dentist. On the Bright Side, Charlie Sheen Went to the Dentist.

Winning! Ah, it never gets old. But actually, our old friend Charlie is quickly on his way to Andy Dicksville. He is being sued by a dental technician, who claims, during a procedure Charlie ripped his nitrus oxide mask off, grabbed her boob, and yelled, "I'm going to fucking kill you!" The technician claims that Sheen, then tried to pull her bra strap and scrubs down, and then lunged at one of the dentists with a knife. Not sure if it was a knife being used in the procedure or one Charlie brought from home. Either way, No bueno. But, in Charlie's defense, a dentist visit can do strange things to people. That being said, I'm sorry Rhonda, and please tell Dr. Andrews I am sorry to him as well, and see if he will consider taking me back as a patient. I don't even have that tooth anymore.

Editorial Section

 

Okay, I know this is an entertainment site, and we pride ourselves on giving you fine folks up to date(ish) entertainment news etc, but I need to say something before I have a fucking aneurysm.  I don't think I'm alone here, so here it goes...

WHEN I AM HAVING A CIGARETTE, I DON'T NEED YOU TO TELL ME IT'S BAD FOR ME.  I AM AWARE OF THE DANGERS OF SMOKING AND I STILL CHOOSE TO SO FUCK OFF YOU DUMBASS DO-GOODER MORONS.   Phew, that's much better...seriously though-do people think they are helping with their bullshit "my husband is on oxygen because he smoked" stories?  How about fuck you?  How's that sound?   For fuck's sake, do they actually think that if they tell a smoker how bad it is, we are going to be like "Oh my GOD IT'S BAD FOR ME???  YOU DON'T SAY???  WHY, I MUST BE WORSE THAN HITLER!!"

I know I'm ranting...but seriously-you're a moron if you go up to someone who is trying to relax with a cigarette and make them feel like shit, and plus you're probably disturbing their break so fucking stop. 

Uh Huh, Yes, this Seems Right

 

If you can't tell, there is a band-aid on her face as well because why the hell not?

Anyway...if you though Amanda Bynes was just going to straighten up and fly right by going to some fashion school, you were dead wrong buster.  Here she is strolling through the Upper East Side just being Amanda.  Read: Run if you see her.

 

BREAKING: Joe Giudice Gets 41 Months in Prison

 

Okay, okay, I know they are both complete scumbags but I really do feel bad about this.  Here's hoping Teresa gets a more lenient sentence.  See?  I have a soul.  Wait...no wait that's a Skittle.  See?  I have a Skittle.

UPDATE: Looks like Teresa got 15 months, but the judge is letting them stagger their sentences so one of them will be home with the kids. 

Keeping Up With Statch

We're not really sure who has worst taste in mates in this one--Tyga and Chris Brown, or Kylie and Kendall Jenner respectively--but we do know that Tyga is 24 and Kylie is 17, so yeah, that's a little rapey. But Chris Brown has been known to hit a bitch, and I have a feeling Kendall Jenner is probably 

more annoying than Rihanna, soooo, I guess this one is a wash. You're all winners.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

He Hate Me from the XFL

You would too if he stole yo' boo

Justin Bieber Punched a Photographer in Paris; How Romantic

 

Ahh Paris memories...

After a dinner date with Kendall Jenner, Justin Bieber was apparently greeted by photographers outside the restaurant.  Like any sane human, he started throwing punches because how dare they interrupt his dinner with the spawn of hellfire?  They were talking about shoes people.  Shoes.  You don't just interrupt shit like that.