Liam Hemsworth is a Class Act-Unlike That Whore He Dated...According to Liam Hemsworth

Because is anything would make me want a clean break from someone, it would be seeing them have a seizure all over Beetlejuice's cock...Via UsWeekly:

According to a source close to the actor, the pair is "just weeks away from calling it off permanently."

"He is over her and wants to make a clean break," the source tells Us of the Australian hunk. "No more back and forth."

I actually didn't know these two were still dating, and I really didn't know we were still referring to Miley Cyrus as a "her".  I mean-she's just a scary spider to me now-a scary, inbred, spider.

Ladies and Gentlemen-Your Nightmare for the Evening

Here is a pre-birth Kim Kardashian scaring the hell out of you for some fashion magazine.  I don't know much about fashion or women, but what I do know is RUN AND HIDE!!!!! *grabs stapler and hides under desk* They'll never find me here-will they stapler?  No-no they won't.

Miley Cyrus: History Maker

After waiting over a week for Miley to comment on her trashtastic performance with Robin Thicke at the VMAs, MTV will air a documentary about the entertainer? where she opens her mouth, and allows the pollutants that are her words into the air. Before going on stage, Miley says, "Me and Robin said the whole time, 'You know we're about to make history right now.'" If by history, you mean a 24 hour nonstop vomiting campaign in my bathroom, then you are right.

Is It a Hooker With a Baby or Beyoncé?

Ahh, one of my favorite trivia games! Since she seems to be boarding a boat, I'm gonna go with Beyoncé. Hookers may wait in port, but rarely board.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

The Jerk (Navin)

He was born a poor black child...

R.I.P. Tommy Morrison

Via UsWeekly: 

Tommy Morrison has died at the age of 44. The Rocky V star and heavyweight champion died on Sunday, Sept. 1, in a Nebraska hospital, TMZ reports.
 

Morrison's promoter, Tony Holden, confirmed the news that he had been in and out of the hospital for several months. He died with his wife by his side.

Morrison, nicknamed "The Duke," won his first heavyweight fight in 1989, by knocking out Alan Jamison in the first round. He then went on to play Tommy 'Machine' Gunn in 1990's Rocky V, alongside Sylvester Stallone. Three years later, he defeated George Foreman for the heavyweight championship in 1993.

Very, very sad.  God Bless, Tommy.

That Book That Middle-Aged Women Masturbate to is Gonna Be a Movie Starring These Two

I don't know much about 50 Shades of Grey, but I do know if you pretend to be the author of it and sign those books, Barnes & Noble will throw you out pretty damn fast.  Any snooch-it's gonna be a movie and these two are the stars: Dakato Whatserface and Charlie Vikingstein.  Okay those aren't their real names but does it really matter?