It looks like Charlie Sheen has Feigned Sanity for too Damn long-Time for a Rant

 

All righty...

 

So apparently, Charlie Sheen took his 24 year old daughter's friend fiancée out for dinner for her birthday (haha no you guys it wasn't at Chuck E. Cheese...grow up) and who else was dining there but Rihanna!  Any snooch...Charlie Sheen sent over a request to the Monster singer for her to meet his child bride and RiRi said no.  Hilarity ensued.  Via Radar Online:

 

Charlie Sheen has a new enemy: Rihanna.
The former Two and a Half Men star trashed the “We Found Love” singer Thursday, calling her a “Village idiot” in an elongated Twitter post after the Barbadian beauty blew off the actor’s request for a quick meet-and-greet as they both dined at Giorgio Baldi in Santa Monica Wednesday evening.
Sheen said he was at dinner with his girlfriend Brett Rossi upon learning the singer was there. (He added that “personally [he] couldn’t pick her out of a line-up at gunpoint.)

The “Diamonds” singer declined Sheen’s request, the actor said, by telling them that there were too “many paps outside and it just wasn’t possible at this time.
“At this time? AT THIS TIME?? lemme guess, we’re to reschedule another random … 11 million to 1 encounter … with her some other night…?”

Sheen, 48, said he personally couldn’t care less that he didn’t get to meet the “Stay” singer, likening a possible pow-wow to “84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino.” (He cracked, “I’m guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you left the restaurant.”)
But the 26-year-old “Umbrella” beauty’s holier-than-thou attitude rankled Rossi, who Sheen said “was NOT OK with” being brushed off, “Bday or not.”
Sheen continues, “Sorry we’re not KOOL enough to warrant a blessing from the Princess” — “or in this case the Village idiot” — noting that despite his longtime celebrity status, he’s always taken the time to be warm and cordial to fans and industry peers with a show biz etiquette that’s been “established over time to exist radically in concert with a code of gratitude!”
Sheen — who hasn’t been this vitriolic since his infamous falling out with Chuck Lorre — then went in on the singer’s funky look, as she’s currently sporting bright pink tresses.
He wrote, “oh and Riahnna, Halloween isn’t for a while. but good on you for testing out your costume in public. it’s close; a more muted pink might be the answer, as in: none.
“See ya on the way down, (we always do) and actually, it was a pleasure NOT meeting you … clearly we have NOTHING in common when it comes to respect for those who’ve gone before you.”

Fantastic.  So basically, Charlie Sheen has taken on all the qualities of a chubby, obsessive high school girl who is mad at the head cheerleader (or in RiRi's case, I don't know-the naked girl who hangs out with the band kids?) for not saying hi in the cafeteria.  I mean-Jeez Chuckles, you sure know a hell of a lot about her hair for someone who "couldn't care less" about her.  I think he should have gone the route of senile billionaire and consistently mispronounce her name and get her confused with Katy Perry in his tweets.  For example:

"Damn kids today got no respect for their elders.  I was using war bonds to buy my sweetheart supper and that Rwanda didn't want to come and say hello.  It's a travesty I say, consarnit.  Damn kids-aw now my depends are all cold.  Dagnabbit."

You're welcome, America.