Bruce Jenner's New Name is...

 

Kaitlyn...fucking Kaitlyn.  

So basically, Bruce Jenner, the Olympic athlete who made everyone super patriotic in 1976 with his almost super human abilities, is going to have the same name as the stripper that took your wallet that time. Enjoy America.

Bobby Flay Cheated on his Wife with January Jones

Master burger flipper Bobby Flay cheated on his wife with master homewrecker January Jones, according to divorce court documents.  To be fair though, his wife, Stephanie March who is claiming this is also the same woman who credited Flay's success to "her amazing palate" so let's take this with a grain of salt and a sprig of parsley, hmm? 

I'm a Bit Confused...

 

So okay, this chick is all over the place because she's fat and a plus sized model who is now infiltrating the mainstream modeling world because the world  is all about not hurting people's feelings no matter how much their heart is in trouble.  My question is, how come whenever I light a cigarette, people will without fail always make some retarded comment about how bad smoking is, but we are all more than willing to jump of the diabetes bandwagon, pulled by Big Bertha here?  I mean, this is a picture of someone with a disease, people...I'm just saying maybe we shouldn't celebrate something so deadly.  I'm all for the plus sized ladies, but this just looks like a health issue.

Professor Comedy Says: Khloe Kardashian Isn't Racist

 

Okay, so this is the thing that Khloe Kardashian posted on her Instagram that's got everyone's panties in a knot.  Let's break this down: first off, it's not racist, it's just her way of trying to be funny.  And you know what, it ain't half bad...I mean let's be honest, the KKK is such a ridiculous organization that I think by this stage, it's okay to poke some fun, and make light of them.  It's like Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes-so let's stop being so sensitive, people.  This is probably the smartest thing to come out of the Kardashians. Ever.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Zach Woods

No apologies. 

What the Fuck?

Okay so I must have been in a haze last week thanks to my cramming for my Garfield final, (I give myself an exam on Garfield the Cat every year, just to keep me on my toes), because I completely missed this shit:  Apparently Josh Duggar, the oldest child of the TLC circus 19 Kids & Counting is a fucking molester?? Well, I can't say I'm fucking surprised.  Anywho, TLC has pulled the show...and I just wanna point out that this is the second show to be pulled from TLC amid allegations of fucking molesting so get your shit together The Learning Channel!  Didn't shit about space used to be on that show?  What the good goddam fuck is going on over there?  There have been multiple reports and allegations that Josh Duggar fondled five underage girls, and while I usually hate when people accuse others and don't present proof, this pic is basically all the proof I need:

And also, he's a hateful creep so fuck him.  

Johnny Depp Faces up to 10 Years in Prison

...But don't worry, forty-something housewives, your noontime fantasy won't be serving any time.  

Seems the whole fiasco with Deppsters bringing his dogs to Australia early this month violated a bunch of laws down under, and our most precious resource will probably just end up paying a hefty fine.  But the maximum punishment is ten years, so I wasn't lying-I was just trying to get your attention.  My dad used to do it all the time when we were little, only it involved a lot more fire.  And dragons.