Snaps to Ambular! Your Wedding is Completely Proper!

Congratulations to Elisa Donovan who played Amber in Clueless. She married Charlie Bigelow who works in finance (whatever that means) last Saturday (sorry this is the first I'm hearing about it, I would have loved to have gotten this information to you sooner). Best of luck to this Betty and Baldwin!

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel got Married; Andy Samberg Mourns

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake got married in a "private ceremony" in Italy, which just sounds like "blah blah blah we're pretentious blah blah blah we're private blah blah blah we ate the local cheeses aren't we cute and humble." 

In related news...Joey Fatone just bought a new backscratcher from Bed Bath & Beyond.  Anyone? Anyone?

Harry Potter Breaks Up with Muggle; Dorks Rejoice

Actor/KD Lang look-alike, Danielle Radcliff broke up with his/her girlfriend Rosie Coker, according to The Daily Mail.   Uhm, so, ladies...if you're interested in a small pompous British marionette puppet...this is the guy for you...he'll get his broomstick all up in your Quidditch.  Those books are porn right? RIGHT?

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Jerri Blank from Strangers With Candy

 

Have you ever seen a more perfect flower?

 

 

 

Surprise, Surprise; Joaquin Phoenix Said Something Weird

...Those eyes-whoops lost my pants-ladies?

Joaquin Phoenix went on a weird, but not altogether untrue rant about the awards race recently, saying that the awards circuit is "bullshit" and "the worst tasting carrot" when asked about generated Oscar buzz for his film The Master.  So he's totally in the right profession-because actors  just hate patting each other on the balls every year-can't stand it, no-sir-ee bob.  And it REALLY cheeses them off when they win an award and get to use the stage as a platform for their political views on shit.  Oh Joaquin, you had us at "worst tasting carrot" you complicated so and so. 

"Mother fuckers gots to be real, yo...real to the end." -Winston Churchill

Would YOU buy Perfume from This?

If you wanna smell like a homewrecking wet fart...then Balenciaga's Florabotanica is the perfume for you!  The geniuses at Balenciaga seem to think that Rizzo up there will help the fragrence fly off the shelves.  I guess they aren't aiming the product at the "wives of scumbag directors" demographic.  You know,   I don't know if Florabotanica is something I would associate with Kristen Stewart...she looks more like she would advertise "Blood After A Barfight Mixed with Spit and Teeth  eau de toilette" 

CONCLUSION:  She scares waiters. 

R.I.P. Sylvia Kristel; First Adult Film Star (1952-2012)

Sylvia Kristel, star of Emmanuelle  passed on in her sleep, after suffering a brave battle with cancer.  Kristel appeared in over sixty film and television roles, and was even praised for her work by Roger Ebert in Emmanuelle,  who cited screen presence as what made the film work.  Rest in Peace, Sylvia, you will be missed.  God bless.