This is truly sad news. Leonard Nimoy has died at the age of 83 of pulmonary disease. Nimoy built a legion of fans playing the iconic Mr. Spock on Star Trek, and his popularity only grew through the years. Leonard Nimoy was an amazing actor and an all around stand-up guy, and he will be terribly missed. We'll see you in the next world, Mr. Spock where you will always live long and prosper.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Ozzy Osbourne is Out of Touch…But You Knew That
All aboard the Crazy Train! Access Hollywood's Billy Bush made comments about Kelly Osbourne throwing her Fashion Police co-host Giuliana Rancic "under the bus" over the whole Zendaya-dreadlock hoopla. So in an effort to defend his daughter, Osbourne tweeted directly to Bushie, "Stop acting like a bitch. Act like a man. Lay off Kelly or we'll be going to hospital to get my foot out of your ass. God Bless." So this whole thing started because of a comment that many thought was racist, Kelly apparently being one of those people. But isn't calling someone a bitch, and telling them to act like a man, being kind of derogatory to women, and in particularly bad taste when it is your daughter's honor you are supposedly defending? Not trying to split hairs here, but shouldn't Ozzy be held just as accountable for his tweet as Guiliana Rancic was for her comment on Fashion Police?
Oh yeah, one more thing, don't you ever threaten Bushie again, or we'll be going to hospital to get this bitch's foot out of Yo' ASS!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
The Kardashians are $100 Million Richer, Because That's the World We Live in; In Other News, I Re-Use Toilet Paper
Okay, so while I'm stealing paper clips from my office to hold my pants up (ladies?) the Kardashians have just gained a butt-load of money by agreeing not to leave the E! Network. The family has signed on for four more years of whatever it is or whoever it is they do. Just a reminder, this is the same network that will jump all over your shit for making fun of dreadlocks, so you know, this fits in well with the bullshit circus that is E!
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
An Open Letter to Hollywood Fart-Sniffers
Okay, so here's the deal: Guiliana Rancic had to apologize to Zendaya (I don't know) because of a harmless hair comment. Seriously-it was a joke about dreadlocks and it was funny but apparently nobody can say anything about ANYBODY anymore unless it is pre-approved by a bunch of overly sensitive faux aware Hollywood douchebags. So that means Bill Cosby is fair game, but stupid hair is not. Rancic was NOT being racist, she was just calling it like it was in a funny way. I hope you guys see the absolute ridiculousness of this whole political correct third reich we now live in. This is just another example in a long line of up-their-own-assness that now dominates Hollywood.
STOP THE INSANITY!!
The E! Network's Giuliana Rancic had to apologize for comments she made on Fashion Police about Zendaya's new dreadlock look at the Oscars. On the tongue-in-cheek COMEDY and FASHION evaluation show, Rancic said that Zendaya must have smelled of patchouli and marijuana in reference to her hairdo which she was sporting for the Oscars, as a fashion statement presumably, since she wore a pixie cut to the Grammys just a couple weeks ago. Well, the shit just hit the fan! Zendaya took to Instagram gave a huge dissertation on dreadlocks and race and how respectable people wear dreadlocks and how certain people, without naming anyone specifically, who made insensitive comments about her hair were basically just being super racist and might as well be in the KKK. Okay, maybe she didn't go that far, but you get the idea. Anywhoo, Rancic, either facing pressure from E! or just not wanting deal with further bullshit, felt compelled to apologize via twitter. Here's the thing, racism and stereotypes are bad. But, not everything is RACISM!!! Dreadlocks do not belong to one race alone. There are black people with dreadlocks, there are white people with dreadlocks, there are Asian people with dreadlocks, there are Hispanic people with dreadlocks. There are dogs with dreadlocks for crying out loud!! And yes, many of these people, like it or not!!! smoke weed and smell of patchouli, and many also do not! We KNOW that. Giuliana was making something called a JOKE about the stereotype of dreadlocks--and for the record it's a pretty well known fact--black with dreadlocks you may or may not smoke weed, white with dreadlocks you definitely smoke weed. And there is nothing wrong with that!! So shame on you Zendaya for insinuating that there is!! I would like an apology!
Monday, February 23, 2015
And the Winners Are…
Hooray for Hollyweird and all that crap! Crap we love of course!
EMMA STONE
Lettuce show you to your seat Miss Stone
ETHAN and his wife RYAN HAWK
I like Ethan Hawk, but this picture just looks like the definition of "jerks"
MARGOT ROBBIE
Mary Slut Lincoln
JESSICA CHASTAIN
The fun dress is demading the boring dress leave this instant!
KEITH URBAN
A remake of Victor Victoria?
JARED LETO
Jared, are you trying to look unattractive? Congratulations, you've succeeded admirably!
87th Annual Academy Awards Jerk-Off...I Mean Re-Cap
Okay so the 87th Annual Academy Awards were last night and it was pretty much just a tense circle-jerk sprinkled with shots of Oprah looking smug and Stedman looking dead/lobotomized. I personally enjoyed John Travolta's awkward face touching. Oh, and the tear-stained face of Chris Pine just sealed the deal for me, cuz you know, he tots knows all about the Civil Rights struggle...tots. Any snooch, here's some pictures. Oh, and P.S. Sean Penn was just trying to be funny, so get your head out of your fart sniffing glasses, Hollywood.
Oh BAAHHRROOTHERRRR...
Friday, February 20, 2015
The Skank Fight Continues…
Does evey man who marries a Kardashian turn into bitch? Kanye West got involved in the ongoing catfight between the Kardashians and Amber Rose Friday morning on Power 105.1's The Breakfast Club. West dated Amber Rose from 2008 to 2010 and told the radio show he had to take 30 showers before he could get with Kim Kardashian, when asked about the Rose/Kardashian twitter feud. So how does that work, like wouldn't 30 showers just be one really long shower? Or did you have to take one shower a day for a whole month? Wow, Amber Rose must be super dirty!!
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Vanilla Ice Arrested for Burglary
In the classiest thing I'll write all day-Vanilla Ice has been arrested in Florida for burglary. There. I did it.
Via TMZ:
Vanilla Ice has been arrested and charged with burglary and grand theft for allegedly stealing furniture, a pool heater, bicycles and other stuff from a vacant home in Florida.
Lantana PD tells TMZ ... it's all connected to Ice's TV show, "The Vanilla Ice Project." Ice was renovating a nearby home and allegedly thought it was a good idea to go to the abandoned place and take the items in question.
Well that's all just fantastic. I was really hoping for that Vanilla Ice comeback and now he up and pulled this shit. Come on, Ice, get your shit together. Hahaha JK...I know he'll never get his shit together.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Khloe Kardashian is Klassy
Okay, so basically Amber Rose, who most of you know as that bald chick with the ass, said some things about the Kardashians...pretty innocuous comments that nobody would really care about but Khloe Kardashian has a Twitter account and wanted to make her feelings known about the model? singer? I don't know what Amber Rose is. Via MTV:
Amber Rose is friends with Blac Chyna. Blac Chyna has a son with Tyga, although they’re no longer together. Tyga is now (supposedly) dating Kylie Jenner. Amber Rose does not like this. Kylie’s sister, Khloe Kardashian, does not like that Amber said something about not liking this.
Are you following?
OK, here’s how it went: Amber appeared on “The Breakfast Club” late last week, where she weighed in on Tyga and Kylie getting close.
Click HERE to see the tweets and the rest of the fun article. It's great...two people who really have no business being famous arguing about bullshit. It's like the Special Olympics of celebrity feuding.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
You Guys Gotta Hear This Simpsons Theory
Okay, because I love you guys, I want to share with you something that literally just fucked my shit up...I mean figuratively...you know what? I don't know the fucking difference anymore. Anyway, click HERE for a Simpsons theory that is making the internet rounds. You'll love this.
Brandon Browner Would Have Beaten Kanye West's Ass if HE Were Beck
Image via TMZ
Brandon Browner of the New England Patriots does not care for Kenye West's bullshit...here are some choice words Browner had for the self-proclaimed king-of-everything-except-for-those-poor-as-shit-countries-cuz-fuck-them: via TMZ
Well, the move pissed off Browner -- who says, "Kanye West is a sucka! Everybody don't listen to Beyonce. Second time he tried to steal somebody shine. First time it was a 15 yr old girl."
He continued, "Kanye try and play that I'm weird because of my genius. Non of the greats pull that stupid ish. Meaning Marley, Mike Jack, Tupac, Jayz etc."
"Peep who he tried Beck and Taylor Swift. Real tough guy. If only I could've been Beck for one night. Kanye would be rapping thru the wire."
Now, I know Kanye West probably does all this high school girl shit for attention, or perhaps he's retarded who can ever really know? I just enjoy the fact that Browner is jumping up for Taylor Swift and Beck...because now I know he sings the yuppiest white people songs while he showers and that makes me smile. Also, I would fucking love it if Brandon Browner could be Beck for one night. Make that happen, whoever was responsible for that Freaky Friday magic. Please and thank you.
R.I.P. Bob Simon
This is very sad news in the world of journalism.
Longtime CBS News correspondent Bob Simon was killed tragically in a car accident in New York yesterday. He was 73. I think Bob is best described by 60 Minutes executive producer Jeff Fager:
"Bob was a reporter's reporter. He was driven by a natural curiosity
that took him all over the world covering every kind of story
imaginable," Fager said. "There is no one else like Bob Simon. All of us
at CBS News and particularly at 60 Minutes will miss him very much."
His iconic voice and first class reporting will be greatly missed. 60 Minutes will not be the same without him. Mr. Simon was a true newsman...someone who put himself in the action to bring the story. He was an overall great reporter and greater human being.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Jon Stewart is Leaving the Daily Show
Much to the disappointment of Prius owners everywhere, Jon Stewart will be leaving the The Daily Show later this year, probably to go on and direct serious as shit movies. You did this, didn't you Brian Williams? You bastard.
We Know You Have Mirrors
What better way to show off your fresh new haircut then with some camo jodhpurs/parachute pants and sports bra--in sub-freezing NYC. At least Kim got some elements of cold weather attire right--she remembered Kanye's creepy Matrix coat and appears to be wearing figure skates. #YouGuysWhatsThisThingCalledWeather?
Monday, February 9, 2015
HOTTIE OF THE DAY!
Prince at last night's Grammy Awards
He looks like a woman who suffers from painful sex due to menopause--but he still brings the HOT!
I Think It's Safe To Say, Kanye West is a Beyoncé Superfan
Nothing ever happens the way I want it to! Hummph!
I thought for sure the most foolish thing Kanye West would do this past year is marry into the Kardashian fam, but he has once again managed to top himself. Last night at the Grammy Awards, he rushed the stage after Beck won Album of the Year for Morning Phase, beating out Beyoncé's Beyoncé. It was all very tongue-in-cheek, an homage to his rushing of the stage when Taylor Swift beat out Miss B at the 2009 VMAs. Anywhoo, Beck encouraged Kanye to stay on stage with him, and later said that he was happy to see Kanye come up there when he won the award, and that he deserved to be up there as much as anyone. I don't think Beck understands how "awards" work. Kanye later went on to say that Beck should respect artistry and give his award to Beyoncé. I don't think Kanye understands how "awards" work either. Unless they thought he received "The Head-So-Far Up Your Own Ass That You Actually Have to Somersault to Move"Award, yeah, unless they thought he was getting that.
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Sorry For The News Shortage...Here's a Pic of Kim Kardashian
Hey guys...in my never-ending quest to be the world's best import/exporter/architect/voice of Duckman, I have sort of neglected my journalistic duties this week. Anyway, in the wake of Brian Williams being a lying douche and the heartbreaking story of Whitney Houston's 21 year old daughter, I think it's important to remember that Kim Kardashian is still relevent enough to pose for British magazines in what looks to me like a scene from Hostel 5: This Time it's Hosteler.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Jonnny Depp Got Married
Johnny Depp, who seems to be slowly slipping into senility these days, has tied the knot with 28 year old ex-lesbian Amber Heard. So congratulations to the weird couple who will undoubtedly be honeymooning in Tim Burton's dream birdhouse.
HOTTIE OF THE DAY!
This Stock Photo of a Business Lady
That's right...we have officially run out of ideas. She's hot though, right?
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Holy Fucking Shit, Randy Quaid
I cannot unsee what I have seen...
So in a very creepy new video, my favorite Quaid brother has officially lost his shit and then put his shit in his wife's ass while she wears a very low quality Rupert Murdoch mask. Of course, this is before he went on a minute long rant about how TMZ has arrested him five times and Rupert Murdoch has not thanked him for saving the world or some shit. Anyway, if you want to be sad, remember that the video is NSFW and can be found at World Star Hip Hop and I am sure by now, many other places including your nightmares.
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Suge Knight Rushed to Hospital for Panic Attack
What, me panic?
Suge Knight, or as I like to call him "Bizzaro Uncle Phil" was rushed to an L.A. hospital after a court appearance Tuesday morning. Suge attended a hearing at which he plead not guilty in the death of his friend, whom he allegedly ran over with his pickup truck. What does Suge Knight need a pickup truck for? To run over friends of course. Oh, okay, well that makes sense then. Anywho, he began experiencing chest pains after the hearing, and surprisingly it was not a heart attack, just a case of the "OH SHITS!!" You know who else gets panic attacks? Brandi Glanville on Celebrity Apprentice, and Lydia Wasserstein before we took the SATs. So gangsta!
Monday, February 2, 2015
In Other NFL News...
Now, if you're anything like me, you only caught about five minutes of the Super Bowl yesterday, and of course the ENTIRE halftime show (I love you, Katy Perry)...and of course were disturbed by the dead kid ad for Nationwide. Seriously Nationwide? ANYWHO...Warren Sapp was arrested for soliciting a prostitute and assault. Fantastic.
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