We want to wish all of our readers a happy and safe Thanksgiving. Don't worry, we'll be back to our acclaimed entertainment journalism and dick jokes on Monday.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Here's Roseanne Barr Trying to Be Funny? I Think?
So Roseanne Barr got a chemical peel and then made a kind of joke about Bill Cosby beating her up. Because she's a classy broad and oh-so-topical.
She saddens me.
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Monday, November 24, 2014
The American Music Awards Happened
Didn't watch, didn't care and if these are the faces of talent in the music industry today, I'm going back to playing my spoons on the porch in between my whittlings.
Tasteless Entertainment: The blog that brings half-assed journalism right to your face. Kind of.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Oh Hello There, Katy Perry's Cleavage, and Good Day
Aww she wants to "break the internet" too...isn't that adorbs? Well, she's trying and that's all that matters in the participation ribbon world we live in.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
R.I.P. Mike Nichols
Academy Award and Tony Award winning director Mike Nichols has died at age 83. The word "legendary" is thrown around a lot, but this guy deserves the title. His movies are so loved and ubiquitous in our culture, and he seemed like such a down to earth guy. Playwright Tom Stoppard described him perfectly:
"He’s good at comfort and joy. He’s good at improving the shining hour and brightening the dark one, and, of course, he’s superlative fun. To me he is the best of America”
Rest in Peace and God Bless.
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Now Skeletor Skank is in on This
Okay, we've remained pretty silent through this Penn State-esque media circus surrounding Bill Cosby and the allegations of rape, but this is getting ri-goddam-diculous...now Janice Dickinson is in on the bullshit. Via her stupid mouth (which is being taken seriously, WHY?):
Dickinson says they had dinner in Lake Tahoe, and claims that he gave her a glass of red wine and a pill, which she asked for because she was menstruating and had stomach pains.
And that's when she tells ET that things took a disturbing turn.
"The next morning I woke up, and I wasn't wearing my pajamas, and I remember before I passed out that I had been sexually assaulted by this man," she tells ET. "... Before I woke up in the morning, the last thing I remember was Bill Cosby in a patchwork robe, dropping his robe and getting on top of me. And I remember a lot of pain. The next morning I remember waking up with my pajamas off and there was semen in between my legs."
Dickinson also says she tried to write about the assault in her 2002 autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty: The Accidental Life of the World's First Supermodel, but claims that when she submitted a draft with her full story to HarperCollins, Cosby and his lawyers pressured her and the publisher to remove the details.
"I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do, and it happened to me, and this is the true story," she says about coming out with her story now. "I believe all the other women."
Dickinson says that keeping the alleged sexual assault a secret for 32 years drove her to a life of hurting herself.
First off, I want to go on the record as saying that if Jell-O Pudding Bill Cosby sex is what caused Janice Dickinson to be the crab-person she is today, then she clearly needs to get acquainted with herself. Lest we forget...this woman hasn't been fully conscious since 1982. Fucking Bill Cosby would be the purest thing she ever did (not counting cocaine). Second, most of the allegations are probably bullshit, which wouldn't get us so mad except for the fact that it makes a mockery of a serious matter. In closing, fuck you, Dickinson.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Stop it, Chelsea Handler. Just Fucking Stop it.
Above is a shot of Chelsea Handler's middle aged ass because she thinks it's hilarious to mimic Kim Kardashian's professional photo shoot even though nothing about this looks like a parody. It just looks like a sad, loose reminder that we let this person become famous. Actually-the only reason Chelsea Handler is famous is because she banged the head of E!, so those two gals have A LOT to talk about.
Friday, November 14, 2014
R.I.P. Diem Brown
After a courageous battle with cancer, MTV star Diem Brown has died at age 32. She was a beautiful inspiration to many dealing with cancer, and we are truly sad to hear of her passing.
Rest in Peace, angel.
Gwyneth Paltrow Puts $5,000 Gold Juicer on Website's Holiday Wishlist
Well, it's actually only $4,739, so if you can't afford that, then you don't deserve to have freshly sqeezed oranges! Real talk!
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Here's An Ass...and Her Gigantic Butt
Just...why is she so wet? And why is she coming out of a garbage bag? The questions...they haunt me.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Happy Veteran's Day!
Remember, if you have a veteran in your life, thank them for their service. We here at Tasteless Entertainment offer our thanks to all the men and women who put their lives on the line to protect us and our freedoms.
On a related note, if you're looking for a great charity to give to this holiday season, please consider The Wounded Warrior Project. They are an amazing charity for injured veterans and they do great work.
Thank you.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Dear Parents, Don't Do This
Ick, ick, ick! Not only do the Duggars continue to shit all over my Us Weekly with their weirdo weddings (really, save it for Guideposts or Soldier of Fortune, I like my Us quick and dirty) but now they have shit all over my breakfast with this photo that the most recently married off Jessa made public. It's of her parents. They texted it to her. It's mimicking an instagram photo Jessa posted of she and her new husband. Her father's name is Jim Bob.
Saturday, November 8, 2014
Andy Dick Arrested; Related: Birds go Tweet
Okay, so it looks like Andy Dick was arrested for grand theft because why he exists now. That, and to be Kim Zolciak's stunt double. Or Kim Zolciak. Anyway he stole a fucking necklace so it all makes sense.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Well This Seems Like a Terrible Fucking Idea
So apparently Heidi Montag has offered to shelter a homeless Amanda Bynes because she's the type of house guest that totally won't stab you in your sleep just to get to your cleaning supplies and huff all your Ajax. Tots not. Via UsMagazine:
That's what friends are for?! Heidi Montag reached out to Amanda Bynes after the troubled actress fell asleep on a mall couch and tweeted she has no place to stay.
"I was not given money for a hotel so I have been staying with friends and I didn't get enough sleep last night so I fell asleep on a couch at the beverly center and a paparazzi snuck in and took pictures of me FYI!" the former Nickelodeon star tweeted on Thursday. Nov. 6, after TMZ released photos of her dozing off at the Los Angeles mall. "I hate my parents for still not giving me money for a hotel. What is wrong with them? My lawyer is working to have them fully removed from being my conservator because they don't deserve control over my money -- They are miserable in their life and I will fight to get control of my finances taken away from them!" Bynes continued in a series of tweets.
Following the actress' rant, Montag then offered: "@amandabynes you are more then welcome to crash in our guest house in Santa Barbara if you need somewhere to stay! DM me!"
Sure, Why Not?
Miley Cyrus is dating Patrick Schwarzenegger, because why the hell not? *insert Arnold Schwarzenegger joke here because quite frankly I'm too tired to think of one and why the hell should I be doing all the work any way? You guys are grown ups and it's high time you took some goddam responsibility. I'm sorry, I love you and I've had a bad week-tell you what, why don't I take you out for ice cream after work? Just you and me-that sound good? Okay, good.*
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
AC/DC Drummer is Fucking Insane; Arrested for Trying to Procure Two Murders
Via CNN:
(CNN) -- Phil Rudd, the drummer for legendary hard rock band AC/DC, has been charged with attempting to have two men killed.
The 60-year-old appeared in a New Zealand court Thursday afternoon facing a count of attempting to procure the murder of two men, said Bay of Plenty district's police spokesperson, Kim Perks.
He was also charged with threatening to kill, possession of methamphetamine and possession of cannabis, Perks said.
The names of the men he allegedly wanted killed and the name of the alleged potential hitman are suppressed, CNN affiliate TVNZ reported.
Rudd entered no plea to the charges at the Tauranga District Court, and was bailed until November 27, local media reported.
Police searched Rudd's waterfront home in Tauranga on Thursday morning, TVNZ reported.
What the actual goddam fuck?
Jessica Biel is Knocked Up
Somehow, through science, I guess or witchcraft...Justin Timberlake's vagina produced that stuff that makes babies and now this is happening. Congratulations to the two new mommies.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
R.I.P. Tom Magliozzi
I'm not sure how many of you guys are Car Talk fans, but some of my best memories are of my dad listening to these two knuckleheads talking cars and cracking us up. I was really bummed to hear of Tom Magliozzi's passing at age 77. Rest in Peace, Tappet brother, you made my weekends great as a kid, and helped a lot of people not get screwed over. Much love, and God Bless.
Has Scarlett Johansson Turned into Suze Orman?
All that's missing is the smart jacket g-i-i-i-rlfriend
Monday, November 3, 2014
How Kris Got Her Groove Back
Well, one thing's for sure: Kris Jenner does not have a type. She has gone from a gender non-specific former Olympian, who happens to be white (but I don't pay attention to that kind of thing) to a studly young buck, who happens to be black (but I only noticed that because of the way Kris is walking).
Taylor Swift is a Pretentious Anti-Boner, You Say?
Okay, so we don't make it any kind of secret that we don't like Taylor Swift around here. We just...don't. She looks like she smells weird. Anywho-it looks like she is about to piss off a bunch more people because she has just pulled her entire catalog from Spotify because "artists shouldn't undervalue their music" or some cunty shit. Anywho, here's the scoop via E! News:
Taylor Swift just dumped Spotify, and the music streaming service is having a real tough time letting her go.
Swift, who is on track to sell over 1 million copies of her album 1989 in its first week of release, has removed all her albums from Spotify. Every. Single. One. So not only did she cut out the music streaming service from accessing her brand-new album, but she just up and "yoinked" every last song that was available to listeners.
And Spotify is absolutely crushed, which is no surprise since according to the letter the company wrote to Swift begging her to come back, 16 million of the 40 million subscribers have played her song in the last month and she's on over 19 million playlists.
Taylor herself recently blamed streaming services as one of the reasons album sales have been so low in recent years in her op-ed piece she wrote for the Wall Street Journal:
In my opinion, the value of an album is, and will continue to be, based on the amount of heart and soul an artist has bled into a body of work, and the financial value that artists (and their labels) place on their music when it goes out into the marketplace. Piracy, file sharing and streaming have shrunk the numbers of paid album sales drastically, and every artist has handled this blow differently.
On one hand, Taylor should have a say in how her music is distributed, and it's a widely known fact that artists do not get as much money from a service like Spotify in comparison to a service like iTunes where you pay to download the songs/albums. This could be Taylor's way of trying to make the change she wants to see in the music industry, as noted in her op-ed piece.
On the other hand, Swift fans are quite hurt over her decision to pull her music from Spotify, with some going as far as to call the move greedy. And we all know how much Taylor's fans mean to her, so will this drastic action hurt her reputation amongst her people?
Okay, so basically she's all butt hurt because with streaming services like Spotify around, she may not be able to buy that millionth pair of socks from the 1940's that are like so adorbs you guys. In my opinion, the less available Taylor Swift music is, the better because I like my trips to H&M to be Swift-free thank you very much. The real kicker is that she actually wrote an Op-ed piece for a respected news source...that's like having Corky from Life Goes On help Stephen Hawking build a fucking time machine.
Saturday, November 1, 2014
We Know, We Know…
Neil Patrick Harris went as Gayer Bono
Andrew Garfield went as me in high school. (I'm a girl by the way…I think)
Solange went as Psycho Carrie Bradshaw
Jake Gyllenhaal went as an asshole
Katy Perry went as Russel Brand's penis
And looks like poor Taylor Swift forgot to dress up this year. I totally saw her in this
at Subway last week.
Hmm
We're not exactly sure what character Angelina Jolie plays in the new movie she wrote By the Sea, but it looks like it's probably an old lady with a bathroom that makes her whole house smell bad. Just sayin' that's what I'm getting from this visual.
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