Ch-ch-check it Out!

 

Hey guys!  Want to poo your pants?  Then check out issue #37 of Sanitarium Magazine!  Click HERE and be sure to have your depends ready.  

Nicki Minaj is Going to Scare the Shit out of ABC Family

 

That's right, Miss Shrinking Violet up there is going to be producing and starring in a sitcom about her life that for some goddam reason or another is going to be on ABC Family.  So, ya know...get set, kids.  

Jim Carrey's Girlfriend Found Dead of Apparent Suicide

 

Cathriona White, 30, was found dead of an apparent overdose last night.  The suicide comes after some very eerie remarks made by Carrey's on-again/off-again girlfriend on her Twitter and Instagram accounts.  

Prayers to Jim Carrey and Cariona's family. 

Tootie is Going to Be a Real Housewife of Atlanta

 

That's right, Facts of Lifers Tootie is joining the ranks of ladies who get mad that they don't get invited to a party they didn't even know about in the first place.  I know I'll be watching with my Facts of Life thermos that I totally got Natalie to sign after hiding out in an airport bathroom for oh, let's say a week.  So. Many. Foot. Taps.

Frances Bean Cobain is Totally Well-Adjusted...You Can Tell By Her Husband

 

and another...

 

So yeah...in case you couldn't tell, Frances Bean Cobain is living Freud's wet dream by marrying Isaiah Silva aka Kurt Cobain's look-alike, in a ceremony that she didn't even invite her mother aka Kurt Cobain's murderer (just kidding maybe...I don't know) to.  Mazel to the the creepy couple!

Eric Johnson Ain't Having None of Jessica Simpson's Drunk Bullshit

 

So after Jessica Simpson's Dudley Moore-esque behavior on HSN the other day,  it was reported that Eric Johnson has given J-Simp a big old southern style choice...rehab or no more kids!  Here's hoping she makes the right choice and slips slowly into a Paula Deen-style middle-age sans the youngins.   

The Kardashians are Officially Trashier Than the Duggars/Honey Boo-Boo Family/Every Pregnant Teenager

 

Via some goddam magazine who gives a shit:

Jumping into bed together to film a vlog entitled "You're in Bed With Kim and Kylie," which Jenner posted on her website on Thursday, Sept. 24, the duo got candid about a couple of topics that have been hitting the headlines recently.
First up — the fact that the youngest Jenner sister seems to be totally wiping the floor with her siblings when it comes to her social media profile.
"How do you feel now that you have dethroned me?" Kardashian asked cheekily, to which her little sister just smiled awkwardly, refusing to comment.
"I love it, like, I love it," the 34-year-old reality star insisted, trying to put her sister at ease. "I need some time off. I mean honey, let's be real, you've got to put in a few more years before you actually dethrone me. But I give my baton to you. Who better to pass on knowledge to my baby sister, rather than a random non-family member," the still-queen of reality TV added.
And in case you didn't get the message, Kardashian continued to make it clear she really, really doesn't mind if Jenner overtakes her in the popularity stakes. “You guys, this is amazing. I give Kylie all my tricks, I give her all my tips. I give her everything, and more. She is so, like, deserving. If I would want anyone to follow in my footsteps, anyone to borrow my clothes, anyone to like share my glam team it is Kylie, King Kylie," Kim insisted.
Having cleared that one up, Jenner's big sis then went on to ask the other question that had been on the tip of fans' tongues all day — why did Tyga call Jenner his fiancee in her recent Snapchat video?
"Why did Tyga call you his fiancee? I was, like, dying to know," Kardashian asked.
"He was making fun of an Instagram he posted 30 minutes before," Jenner responded, explaining that there would be no wedding bells ringing just yet. "He knew there was this guy who was on Instagram who was like, 'I don't like nobody. I just play with my fiancee and my little dog,'" she added.

Ugh-I hate myself for even posting this shit...it's just...it's so bad, you guys.  On a lighter note, O.J. Simpson: The Secret Hidden Tapes will be premiering on A&E October 1st.