Okay here's the deal: last night's Academy Awards was probably the worst of all time. I'm not joking...this year's bullshit made every other year look like a trip to the boobie factory-something I am convinced exists. If you didn't get to catch the five hour parade of "let's run the whole #oscarsowhite joke into the fucking ground" then consider yourself lucky.
Basically, this was a night of awkward silences, crying white people, and a new term: gender confirmation surgery. Oh, and let's not forget that in the first half hour, someone thought it would e a good idea to trot out a timid looking (yet still gorgeous) Stacey Dash to wish everyone a happy black history month (our girl Miss Dash made some very controversial comments regarding doing away with black history month earlier this year)...so was it supposed to be a joke? A public tarring and feathering? Whatever it was supposed to be, it was the pinnacle of awkward as Stacey stood there amidst silence and scattered applause, because according to Hollywood, she's worse than Hitler and they are all so far up their own asses that they literally believe they are responsible for the Civil Rights movement.
It just got worse from there...with the exception of Louis CK's presentation of best documentary short. Oh and Leonardo DiCaprio won, because it's such a big fucking deal for some reason. He used his speech time to whine about global warming, but I bet he doesn't use energy efficient fuel for his fuck yacht.
Essentially, the whole night was made up of back-patting, boredom, and tired jokes. We get it-the Oscars is soooooo white. Who the fuck cares, really? Oh that's right, rich-ass white people who don't actually do anything charitable, unless you count crying. It's amazing really...watching adults give themselves awards for playing dress-up. They honestly all looked like retards at the aquarium that night. So fuck it-here's some pictures.
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