Coming this fall on ABC...Kristen Stewart is THE ANTI-BONER
They call her the Anti-boner. She infests your dreams with sadness and a sweaty stench not found in mortal existence. She must feast on married douche bags to keep her powers strong, and if you see her coming, your penis will shrivel and die while letting out a low "whhhyyyyyy cruel world?"
Should be getting a check aaannyy day now...
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