Charlie Sheen Wants to do the World's Most Depressing Reality Show

 

Is seems Charlie Sheen wants to do a reality show about his life, and living with HIV.  He is reportedly shopping around the idea to producers, who I am assuming are just brooms in wigs that he placed around a table in his hotel room.  I mean, seriously-yikes. 

 

Oh Good, All My Dreams are Coming True

 

Starting and ending with Kate Beckinsale dressed as a giant penis.  I just hate that when she does it, everyone is like "yay for women dressing like penises" and shit but when I dress up as one, everyone is all "what are you doing?" "get out of here" and "sir, this is a funeral."

Pssh...double standards, amirite?

Beyonce and Jay-Z Staying Strictly Street By Going to Wimbledon

 

Here we see Beyonce and Jay-Z doing their part for the black community by attending Wimbledon.   Now, for those of you commoners who don't know, Wimbledon tickets can cost upwards of $20,000...for tennis.  Honestly, Beyonce and Jay-Z are turning more and more into the old rich white couple from Gilligan's Island every day.  You just know they have a lawn jockey and a waiter who they force to wear white gloves. 

BBB to Kylie Jenner's Lip Kits: Your Shit's Weak

Surprise, surprise, an 18 year old can't run a cosmetics company. 

It seems that Kylie Jenner's Lip Kit scam is seriously taking a hit, at least according to the Better Business Bureau, who gave the company a F in customer satisfaction.  According to reports, customers have complained about everything from security breaches to just plain not hearing back from the company after calling. 

Now, I'm sure Kylie Jenner has about as much to do with the officey things of her company as I do, but damn.  This bitch had the opportunity to turn it all around for the Karajenner gypsy clan and she failed.  If I was the youngest member of a family known mostly for sex tapes, bad marriages, and whatever Caitlyn Jenner is now, than I would be like, you know what?  I'm gonna take that job at Walgreens and be the best damn Jenner I can be.  But no...lip kits.

BREAKING FOR THE WEEKEND...SEE YOU GUYS TUESDAY!

 

I'm breaking a little early for the July 4th weekend because suck it, that's why.  Haha you guys I'm tots playing around with you, like how a cat plays with yarn.  I'm horny is what I'm saying.

Johnny Depp is Doing Just Fine, Thank you very Much

Johnny Depp is back and mohawkier than ever.  The escaper of Frigid Cunt Mountain made a stop at The Comedy Store in L.A. to just be Johnny, I guess.  Kudos to you, Deppy.  Let that freak flag fly out of Tim Burton's hair. 

Kanye West's New Video Horrifies and Creeps

That's right, Kanye West's video, Famous, has come out on Tidal and is hard as hell to find, but if you really want to know what you're missing, here's the nuts and balls of it.  Basically, it was shot like a snuff film and features several famous scroti, tits, and the terrible mess that constitutes Caitlyn Jenner's body and are mostly digitally placed.  I think-this world is scary and new to me.  Are you the nurse?