Ozzy and Sharon are Fucking Done

Looks like Ozzy has stumbled into his last wide-awake nightmare...he and Sharon are calling it quite after 33 years semi-consciously together.  The split comes after rumors of Ozzy having an affair...but I don't think sleepwalking should count.  Seriously, imagine the booby trap setup of whores Sharon Osbourne definitely went through to get Ozzie to have an affair.  It's mind-boobling.

Blac Chyna is Gonna Shit Out a Kid

The national useless retard average is about to skyrocket because Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian are pregnant.  The duo announced their pregnancy via a dumbass picture on her Instagram of a pregnant cartoon character.  Ahh, America-we can always count on you to make a pregnant stripper top news. 

Oh Good, Caitlyn Jenner has a New Manslaughter-mobile

 

Because not only did Bruce Jenner turn into a woman, but also, apparently a pimp with Grimace taste, here is Caitlyn Jenner's new Porsche, complete with an innocent bystander cow-catcher and bitch, move out the way lasers!  

Met Gala 2016: These People Exist

All of these outfits cost more than your house and they are adorning idiots.  Have a great day!

Farrah Abraham Wants to Show you Where she Went from Girl to Stank Ass Ho

Jeezy creezy...

Farrah Abraham, or as we better know her, that grown up cum dumpster, wants to show you where she lost her virginity.  She gave a (hymen tour? I guess?) to fans via an Instagram video of her teenage bedroom, because nobody asked for it, so goddamit they're gonna get it.  I personally have maintained that Farrah was never a virgin, but rather born from the anus of a swamp monster, already with three dicks twixt her thighs.  

Leave it to Kim Kardashian to show off a Necklace in the Creepiest Way Possible

 

The ghost of Kim Kardashian's original face popped up to show off a necklace gifted to her mother by murder victim, Nicole Brown Simpson.  Way to give everyone the willies, Kim...ya jerk.

Krazy Katt Williams is At it Again

Frequent Illuminati accuser and head of the Hunger Games, Katt Williams has been arrested for the seventieth time this week, this time for throwing a salt shaker at the manager of a sea food restaurant.  via the internet tubes:

The comedian found himself in trouble with the law yet again on Wednesday after he allegedly threw a salt shaker at a restaurant employee.

Williams and friends entered the seafood restaurant Spondivits in Atlanta and sat themselves at a table instead of waiting for a host, which quickly led to an argument, TMZ reported.

During the verbal altercation with a manager, Williams reportedly grabbed a salt shaker, chucked it at the man and it smashed him in the face.

Better charge him with...first degree as-salt.