Amy Schumer Has Been Stealing Jokes...and Cake

Your fat friend's favorite comedian, Amy Schumer is apparently a Mencia-level joke thief, according to several sources.  Not only has she stolen stand-up material from other comics, but her show is riddled with plagiarism...most notably ripping off fellow Comedy Central stars, Key and Peele.  Check this article out to find out what her biggest defender, Joe Rogan has to say about it...and pay attention to the flimsy excuses for her bullshit. 

Bye Felicia!

Miley Cyrus to Star in New Woody Allen Series

 

 All righty...

So it seems that Woody Allen is producing an Amazon series, and he has cast plastic penis enthusiast Miley Cyrus.  The series takes place in the 1960's, and will star Woody himself.  Makes sense...Miley has that dirty Scarlett Johansson thing going on...she's kind of like the off-brand Barbie who has the hair that's okay to cut.  I lost track a while ago of what this post was meant to be about.

BOOBIES!

R.I.P. Abe Vigoda

 

One of our favorites, Abe Vigoda, has died at the ripe old age of 94.  Many will remember him from Barney Miller, The Godfather and Fish, but we will always remember his cameos on Conan fondly.  He was amazing actor who made people smile. 

Rest east, Abe.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson Just Bitch Slapped B.o.B. with Some Science

Someone's been drinking the Tila Tequila...

So rapper B.o.B. went on a bizarre "the world is flat" rant the other day, insisting that the earth must be flat because the horizons are always at eye level, and that the flatness of the earth explains the lack of exploration of the arctic.  Oh, he also said that people don't want him poking around, asking questions because "they" want him to be a "good little rapper".  I'm assuming that "they" refers to the voices in his head, which all sound exactly like Tila Tequila.  Because science is Neil DeGrasse Tyson's bitch, he pulled a little knowledge out and proceeded to humiliate the "once you go flat you never go back" proclaimer with the quiet, reserved, and overall sexy dignity we have come to know and love.  Via UsMagazine

"Earth's curve indeed blocks 150 (not 170) ft of Manhattan. But most buildings in midtown are waaay taller than that," the Cosmos host, 57, directly wrote to B.o.B on Monday. "Flat Earth is a problem only when people in charge think that way. No law stops you from regressively basking in it."
He quipped: "Duude — to be clear: Being five centuries regressed in your reasoning doesn’t mean we all can’t still like your music."

*Mic drop, followed by asthmatic cheering and slutty lady doctors throwing their glasses onstage.*

Rob Kardashian is Dating that Nicki Minaj Doll you left on the Stove

What an unnecessary couple...

 

You heard it hear first-or maybe fifth because God knows I had to dig for this...Rob "Diabeetus" Kardashian is dating the one person who deserves to be less famous than him, Blac Chyna.  I honestly don't understand how this chick is famous...I'm pretty sure she was a stripper who banged Tyga like five days ago but whatever-have fun with your petri dish of diseases you two crazy kids. 

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Gerald from Hey Arnold!

 

The sassy best friend that never let his buddy down.

Can Stacey Dash be President, Please?

 

She's beautiful, brilliant, and fucking Dionne!  Here's what our favorite Clueless alum had to say about the Oscars controversy on Fox & Friends: 

  

 During a discussion about the 2016 Oscars controversy, Fox News contributor Stacey Dash declared on Fox & Friends on Wednesday, January 20, that the BET Awards and Black History Month should be eliminated — and BET responded that afternoon.  During her morning chat, Dash, 49, addressed the ongoing outrage over the lack of minority nominees in major categories, and turned the tables on networks like BET (Black Entertainment Television) for giving awards largely to black recipients.

 "I think it's ludicrous," the Clueless alum told Steve Doocy. "We have to make up our minds. Either we want to have segregation or integration, and if we don’t want segregation, then we have to get rid of channels like BET and the BET Awards and the Image Awards, where you’re only awarded if you’re black. If it were the other way around, we’d be up in arms. It’s a double standard."

I don't think getting rid of Black History Month is a very popular proposal but I have to agree with what she's going for here:  we cannot keep segregating.  I don't think the people who are calling for a boycott understand that they are creating a segregated society...we are all human beings, for Christ's sake.  Nobody was trying to be racist.  People cannot create issues like this or everything will just go backwards.  

Anywho...sorry for the seriousness but I AM wearing glasses right now.  *Takes glasses off* 

Where am I?  Who am I?  BOOBIES!!