Okay, so there have been different reports about this, but Lindsay Lohan and Tom Cruise apparently "hooked up" in London and are now dating. Now, Lindsay Lohan denies they are dating, but I am just furious that they think they can pull one over on us here. There is no "hooking up" going on in Tom Cruise's life except for those damn e-reader thingies that measure Thetan levels or whatever the fuck. Now, I don't blame Tom Cruise for wanting to brainwash someone who, let's be honest-is a perfect candidate for joining the Xenu loving (or hating?) cult that has taken so many before her, but I will not stand by, dear sirs, and act like Tom Cruise put his penis anywhere near a vagina or whatever Lindsay Lohan has in place of her vagina. I'm guessing Goya Fiesta Baked Beans. That sounds right.
