Lamar and Khloe Are Gonna Go Ahead and Stay Married

 

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are calling off their divorce to "give their marriage a second chance."  That's right, cuz nothing says "take me back baby" like hookers, coke, and a ton of herbal Viagra.  Take note, kids.

 



HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

 

These fuckin' guys...Happy Back to the Future Day Everybody!

An Open Letter to Those Weird Disney Re-Imagining Folks

 

Fucking stop it.  Just...just fucking stop it right now. 

-The Tasteless Writer, dictated but not read.

Yelp is Suing South Park for 10 Million Dollars

 

Okay so the dingleberrys over at Yelp have stopped sniffing their own farts long enough to try and sue the creators of South Park for $10 million.  That's right, oh and if that wasn't douchey enough for you, check out what their shitty president or whatever the fuck said...

“Our company, along with its millions of users, take Yelp very seriously. The South Park episode was in extremely bad taste and not funny whatsoever. To say our critics are out there trying to get free food and using racist slurs on little Mexican children is beyond ridiculous. To compare the users of Yelp to terrorists is not only cruel, but the definition of libel and slander. I believe any reasonable court in America will agree with the lawsuit and rule in our favor.”

I saw the episode and let me tell you...fucking hysterical.  Also, fuck you, Yelp.  You're honestly making yourself look so much worse than anyone ever could.  Yelp: 0 out of 5 fucks.

Metta World Peace has a Point

 

(Formerly Ron Artest...I just learned that too)...

So basically, the Kardashians have been exploiting the fuck out of Lamar Odom (who is tots doing better by the way) and Metta World Peace is having none of it: 

 

“The only Kardashian that needs to be there is Khloe,” he told the site. “Not every Kardashian needs to be around. They need to keep it simple, so Lamar’s children can see him whenever they want to see him. They’re waiting in line to see their own father.”

Fantastic.  Welp, we've said it before and we'll say it again...the Kardashians love ruining the lives of black men...kinda like a certain white hatted group of gentlemen...I'm looking at you, Dunce Cap Wearers of America.

This is Snooki Now

 

 Honestly, it was a toss-up for me to do this post vs. a post about Scott Disick going to rehab for the fortieth time...oh look at that a twofer!  Anywho, may I please present Lady Snatchfingers of Florham Park.  As you can see, the lady features a brand new face and some incredibly lopsided lips.  Huzzah!

Any snooch, Snooki there popped a picture of herself on Instagram at a book signing (I know, I know) giving some serious unintentional duck lips.  Of course because this is the future and everyone loves to think celebrities look at what the normals say, there was a barrage of criticism regarding the star(?)'s looks.  Many said to stop with the fillers already while many more took to commenting on her overuse of Botox.  

So yeah...that's news.  Because goddamit, why the fuck not?

Oh Subway...Just Go Home

 

So it's been a tough year for terrible sandwich chain Subway.  A pedophile spokesman, a rodent sandwich, and now this: a lady high on synthetic weed got naked and trashed an Alaskan Subway shop.  The video has been removed from YouTube on account of the nekkidness but well, there's the aftermath.  Let that be a lesson, kids...fake weed makes you destructive while REAL weed makes you understand Sabrina the Teenage Witch on a whole new level.  Legalize it.  Legalize it and let the ideas soar.  Seriously...if weed was totally legal, this bitch would not be out fucking up Subway's shit, she would have been home, safe and sound, eating Dominos or whatever the fuck they got in Alaska.