Rosie O'Donnell's Shit has hit the Fan

  

So you guys remember a few months ago, when Rosie O'Donnell's daughter, Chelsea went missing and she posted all this shit about her being mentally ill?  Well, according to Chelsea, that was a big steaming pile of bullshit and Rosie O'Donnell is a terrible caregiver/wife/person.  Click HERE to read the interview Chelsea gave, which basically outed her mom as a perpetually stoned, reclusive, pizza eating, Madonna obsessive who sits around painting dolls all day.  

John Stamos is Ready to Party

 

Oh Uncle Jessie you crazy kid...

So everybody's favorite Greek was arrested the other day because-get this-he was driving erratically while on the date rape drug GHB.  Sources close to the actor say he was using the drug as a diet supplement. Either way, John Stamos should probably start wearing a helmet. 

Caitlyn Jenner is Now Addicted to Plastic Surgery

 

So according to OK! Magazine, Caitlyn Jenner just plain can't stop getting plastic surgery done on the face.  So yeah, instead of putting her money toward a worthy cause or at least pretending to care about the community that put her big ass on a pedestal, she is just using her undeserved fortune to look more and more like Skeletor's grandmother.  Funnily  enough, none of the surgeries are happening below the belt where a sad, confused penis resides.  

These Two are Probably Banging

 

Good Wednesday to you all!  I have come from the village square to spread the news of Dame You'retoooldforthisshit and Duke Stupidfuckface fornicating Canterbury Tales style under the highest willow.  They're fucking...is what I'm trying to say.  These two dumb faces are doing it.  Proof? None.  Conjecture? Yes.  Both recently divorced?  Absolutely.  Watch the fairy tale unfold. 

Oh Kanye, You Krazy

Insert literally any joke here...even that.

Okay, so Krazy-ass Kanye West is at his again with his nonsensical, declarative statements about bullshit.  this time, he went off half-cocked about how the Kardashians should have a ton of Emmy's by now.  He claims that their reality show was such a "ground-breaking art form" and deserves multiple awards for starting a whole new genre.  

Okay, so number one, reality television existed way before the Kardashians plunked their ample asses down on our televisions, so ya know, fuck you.  Number two...just-fuck you, Kanye West.  Unless he's referring to the Kardashian spin-off abortions as part of the "genre" he really is just fucked.  Basically, he's saying the same shit a ninety year old senile grandparent would say about their retarded relations.  

A Sister Wife Got Tricked Online? Noooooo

So it  seems that Merri Brown of the show Sister Wives was catfished online.  For those of you who don't know, Merri was married to creep-master deluxe and polygamy enthusiast Kody Brown before she was voted off the island or whatever the fuck these people do when they want some more room on the compound.  Any snooch, this sad lady was tricked into an emotional relationship via the interwebs with a woman who was posing as a man.  Not to be insensitive, but I am sure it can't be too hard to trick a woman who was tots cool with marrying a guy who not only had like five other wives but also looks like the creepy love child of Kato Kaelin and Garth Brooks...cue the "wah-waahhh" music and...

Demi Lovato Continues to Shove Herself Into People's Faces; Disregards Lack of Interest

 

And you can click HERE for some disappointing nude shots in a bathtub. 

Hello all, and happy Saturday.  Sorry for the slow news week-I've been trying to marathon every episode of Golden Girls and well, my hand has gone limp from masturbation-induced carpel tunnel...ladies?

Anywho, Vanity Fair is featuring a spread of the singer? I guess?  I think there's an album coming out...naked in a bathtub and sans makeup. I guess this is a positive, because I'm pretty sure this is the girl who had an eating disorder and you know that nothing solves deep psychological scars like a nakey photo shoot in the magazine that made us look at Jenner's junk shoved in a onesie Buffalo Bill style for over a month.