HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Phyllis Nefler from Troop Beverly Hills

We're the troop from Beverly Hills and hotness is our favorite skill!

This is Actually Pretty Sad

Normally, I don't fret too much about the drug issues of privileged Hollywood offspring (I have cats to provide for after all!) but in the case of Robert Downey, Jr.'s son, Indio, I can't help but feel a little sad. 20-year-old Indio was arrested in West Hollywood Sunday AFTERNOON for cocaine possession. Police pulled over the car in which Indio was a passenger, after they noticed said passenger smoking something out of a pipe. We all know of course about Robert Downey, Jr.'s struggle with drugs, namely cocaine and heroin in the 80s and 90s, even doing jail time when Indio was a little boy. Robert seems to have cleaned his life up since then, and maintained sobriety for quite a few years now. Smoking cocaine any time is a little out there, but in the middle of the day (yeah even during the weekend) seems like more than recreational fun. I hope Indio gets the help he needs, and doesn't go down the same path as his dad. You do not want to end up in the bed of child you do not know (or you do know for that matter) and have no explanation of how you got there!

R.I.P. Meshach Taylor

It is with the heaviest of hearts that we report the death of Meshach Taylor. Taylor passed away Saturday at his home in Altadena, California after a battle with cancer, according to his agent Dede Binder. He was surrounded by his wife, children and mother. He was 67 years old. Best known for his role of Anthony Bouvier on Designing Women from 1986 to 1993, Meshach was the perfect complement to the eccentric women of Sugarbakers. Tayler is also known for his role in Mannequin, as well as a variety of television shows. He will be greatly missed. Our thoughts and prayers go out to his friends and family.

James Franco and Seth Rogen have Doomed Us All

 

So basically, Kim Jong Un isn't a fan of awkward smiling and dick jokes because he has threatened a "merciless retaliation" if the Rogen/Franco film "The Interview" (a comedy about the attempted assassination of Kim Jon Un) is released in October.  Via The Washington Post: 

Well, that escalated quickly.
A spokesman for the North Korean Foreign Ministry threatened "merciless counter-measures" if the United States (or film studio based in the United States, anyway) releases "The Interview," a James Franco-Seth Rogen comedy that depicts an attempt to assassinate Kim Jong Un, BBC News reported.
"Making and releasing a movie on a plot to hurt our top-level leadership is the most blatant act of terrorism and war and will absolutely not be tolerated," the unnamed spokesman said, according to the state-run Korean Central News Agency. "If the U.S. administration allows and defends the showing of the film, a merciless counter-measure will be taken."
In the Columbia Pictures film, which is scheduled for release in October, Franco and Rogen play two journalists who land a rare interview with North Korea's supreme leader and are recruited by the CIA to assassinate him.

Okay, so basically we can all agree that Kim Jong Un is a douche among turds, but goddamit Franco/Rogen and other guy who always writes the movies with Rogen...why?  Why is it you must make another movie together when not one has been good since Pineapple Express?  Is it so you can bang without your wife/Japanes Pillow girlfriend knowing?  They knew what they were getting into by marrying someone in show business...they knew.  Check out the trailer below.  Or don't and see if I care.

 

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Dinky from Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael

Hey, it's a hot name for an even hotter gal!

Courteney Cox is Engaged!

Ughh, that exclamation point felt forced. Sorry, I'm happy that Courteney has found love with Johnny McDaid, the Snow Patrol rocker (by the way, I can say that I am a Snow Patrol rocker and no one would question it because, who the hell knows who's in Snow Patrol?) but I just can't stomach another 2 years of E! News guessing and speculating when and where and if a Friends star's wedding will happen. I mean, c'mon, it's just mentally draining!

Whoa!

Okay, this is either Lance Bass posing with a bunch of trannies at a gay pride event, or I am having a weird reaction to the brownies I bought from that guy on the corner who wasn't wearing pants. What? I was in a bind. I was hungry and suffer from low blood sugar! Either way, I can't feel my hands.

Shia LaBeouf Arrested at Broadway Show...Because What Else Would Come After 'Shia LaBeouf Arrested'?

So apparently, Miss Shia was causing quite the stir on the great white way, but what else would you expect from someone who willingly sent Lars Von Trier a sex tape of themselves?  Sidenote: if he didn't labe the tape 'Holes', he's wasting his life.  Via UsWeekly:

An NYPD spokesperson tells Us Weekly that Shia LeBeouf "has been charged with disorderly conduct. He was also charged with criminal trespass. While at Studio 54 he was upsetting patrons, being loud and yelling. He'll be jailed. There will be a court appearance for this matter."

"Shia seemed out of sorts," a source tells Us. "He was interacting with strangers during the show and slapping peoples' backsides. He was trying to avoid the police and fell. Then he was cursing at the police while being taken into custody."

Shia LaBeouf was handcuffed and escorted out of a production of Cabaret in New York City on June 26, a source confirms to Us Weekly.

The 28-year-old was reportedly being "disruptive" during the Broadway production which stars Michelle Williams and Alan Cumming. A show source tells Us: "He was disruptive during act one and escorted out of Studio 54 at intermission."

As to what exactly the actor was doing, another source tells Us LeBeouf was "harassing audience members, harassing actors on the stage, and chain smoking inside the theater."

A NYPD PIO officer confirms to Us: "He was removed from Studio 54 and taken to a local precinct. No charges have been filed as of yet."

According to bystanders, he was also crying when police handcuffed him.  Okay, here is my theory...Miss Shia went back in time the night before, and when he went to Studio 54 he assumed he was still in 1978...are you still with me?  So he was watching Cabaret, and probably got all freaked out that the Nazis were destroying disco.  

I will take my Nobel Prize in chocolate form, please. 

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Stick Stickley

 

It's great to have a t.v. friend you can make yourself.

Uhm...Something Looks Different About Kylie Jenner

 

Oh I know what it is...It's her beliefs, right?  She's right wing now?  Yeah...tots.

Hank Baskett Gave A Transexual a Handjob. Now that I have your Attention, Hank Baskett Gave a Transexual a FUCKING HANDJOB!!!

 

All right...let's do this...

So allegedly, Hank Baskett cheated on a pregnant Kendra Wilkinson with transexual model, Ava Sabrina London.  Here is what s/he had to say about the whole penis encounter:  via The Daily Mail

 I met Hank Baskett probably around the 22nd or 23rd of April this year,' the model told the publication. 'He contacted me through a video I had posted on YouTube and we exchanged information.'

She went on to describe how the former Minnesota Vikings wide receiver arrived unexpected one day, using a pseudonym (calling himself 'Steve') in an attempt to hide his identity.

'Hank absolutely knew that I was a transsexual and he told me that I was the only transsexual he’s ever been with,' London stated. 'He thought I was beautiful.'

The model then described in graphic detail her sexual encounter with Baskett, which included many acts but, she insists, never culminated in actual sex. She did, however, make it clear that her client was 'very satisfied' after they both fondled each other's penises.

 The former pro athlete took a shower to clean off after the '15-20 minute' session and paid London $500 before he left, according to London.

RadarOnline also reports that London underwent a polygraph test with polygrapher Joseph Paolella prior to her interview with the National Enquirer, to bring legitimacy to her claims.

Paolella concluded, according to Radar, there was 'no indication of deception during the polygraph examination' after she answered 'yes' to a barrage of questions - ranging from whether or not Baskett engaged in mutual masturbation, paid her for the session, knew that she was a transsexual, and paid her an additional sum on a second visit to her apartment to 'deny she ever met him'.

Radar also has surveillance footage from the National Enquirer which they claim is Baskett's vehicle arriving at the transsexual's condo on June 4, to pay her over $2000 to keep quiet about their tryst in April.

The video footage sees a truck that looks a lot like Baskett's arrive at the Los Angeles luxury condo through a second storey window.

London's interview comes as Kendra and Baskett have been weathering some negative reports lately about their five year marriage that has resulted in two children: Hank Jr, aged four, and Alijah, aged one month.

Well, once you go tranny, you never go back...is what I was told once upon a penis.  And as we grow penis, we should remember to penis the good times.  Here are some more penis:

 

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Jennifer Marlowe from WKRP in Cincinnati

She gives that station great reception!

And Here is Jessica Simpson Hiding from tthe Paparazzi

 

But also taking a photo of herself and posted it to her Instagram account because she's a genius and the world has collapsed unto itself.

Oh My GAWD! A Saved By The Bell TV MOVIE!!!!!!!!

Uhmmm...what the hell, Lifetime casting department?  Acid washed jeans and curly hair does not a saved by the bell cast make...they seemed to fail to nail the subtleties that they captured in such gems as The Betty Broderick Story, The Mary Kay Letourneau Story, and The Mary Kay Letourneau Story Part II; Boner's Revenge.

Anyway, it airs in September and these are the kids that are playing the other kids.  As for Mr. Belding?  Who knows who will play him, but my guess in that couch that you left on the front lawn for trash pickup in April, but forgot to put it on the curb and hey look, now you have a lawn couch.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Lloyd from Undeclared

  

Super hot as Lloyd-even more dangerous as Jax.  (My mind was blown when I realized it was the same person)

That Tan Turd from 5 years Ago Got Arrested; Has New Show

 

I never thought that in my career as a blogger/sexpert/space-cowboy/love-machine 3000/DeLorean owner, I would ever mention this douch-nugget again, but here we are.  Crazy times we live in people, crazy times.  Via CNN:

 Former "Jersey Shore" star Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino was charged with simple assault after a fight in a tanning salon he co-owns with his brother.

Video captured by Splash News showed a smiling Sorrentino walking out of the Middletown, New Jersey, police station after posting a $500 bond Tuesday afternoon. His right eye appeared bruised and scratches were visible on his neck.

As for the new show I mentioned, it's going to be airing on the TV Guide Network (so ya know, nobody but people who have either lost their remote/died are going to be watching it) and it's going to be about a tanning salon that he owns with his family.  It's entirely possible that the fight was for the cameras (considering it was with his brother) but the important thing is that somebody punched him.

Jason Biggs's Wife is Fantastic

 

Jason Biggs must have balls that are rubies and a dick made entirely of chocolate and Nicolas Sparks novels.  That is the only reason I can fathom to explain how he somehow found a wife that was willing to pay for a hooker to have sex with him for his birthday while she watched.  And my mom always told me there were no perfect women...via UsWeekly:

 The Orange Is the New Black star then attempted to explain what happened, keeping in mind that he was on daytime television.
"I didn't have a good time in the end," he admitted. "It took three ladies over the course of three different days. Let's just say I didn't complete the mission. My wife found the whole thing to be quite hysterical even while it was happening. She was actually on the bed, watching, eating a bag of chips, laughing, so as you can imagine, I wasn't really performing to the best of my abilities. Also, said prostitute wasn't engaging with my wife the way I hoped she would and so it all kind of fell apart, and the rest is in the book." 

Now maybe this is all a shameless attempt at plugging his wife's book, but regardless,  she bought him a hooker.  And that, ladies is the way to a man's boner.  Also, cheese fries and bacon...I hope you're taking notes.

Ahhh Gypsy Love

Our favorite Kardashian, the monotone Kourtney, has really shown that while she enjoys getting knocked up by Scott Disick she is none too pleased with his hard partying, Kennedy wannabe ways.  Via UsWeekly:

"Kourtney was yelling at Scott after she found an inappropriate picture of him with another girl," a Kardashian source explains of the couple, already parents to son Mason, 4, and daughter Penelope, 23 months.
Mourning the recent deaths of both of his parents, Disick has been shirking family time for nights out in NYC. During the June 9 blowout at the Hamptons home (Kourtney, sister Khloe et al are filming spinoff Kourtney & Khloe Take the Hamptons), Kourtney confronted her man in the driveway. "You need to be a more responsible father and get better," she screamed, according to the source. "There is another baby on the way! You need to straighten up or get out!"
Now, I always liked Scott Disick-he's kinda the best foil there is for this band of whiny, barely articulate offspring of the queen secubus so I am going to jump to his defense here...the Kardashians are awful, and any man willing to put his penis in one deserves a medal.  Except for Kanye West because mathematically, he is as bad as thirty Kardashians + Hitler.  The defense rests.

Someone Please Help the Kitten

"Oh fuck-I heard about you, stretch."

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Doc Boy

Jon Arbuckle's quiet, sexy brother from the farm. 

If You Don't Want to Take Pictures of Kanye West's Wedding, You Don't Deserve to Live on This Earth

So now Kanye West is all pissy with Annie Leibovitz because apparently she "pulled out" of photographing his freakshow wedding.  Oh this is delicious, via UsWeekly:

"Let me tell you something about that kiss photo that my girl put up," West said (via the New York Post). The rapper, 37, referring to Kardashian's Instagram picture of the newlyweds kissing after being pronounced husband and wife, said it "was pissing my girl off during the honeymoon." He explained: "She was exhausted because we worked on the photo so much because Annie Leibovitz pulled out right before the wedding."

West theorized that the world-famous shutterbug was, "like, scared of the idea of celebrity."

Vogue's resident photographer Leibovitz, 64, is revered for her use of bold colors and lighting in beautiful, provocative portraits. The just-married couple spent four days editing the picture during their Ireland honeymoon to achieve her style. "We sat there and worked on that photo for, like, four days because the flowers were off-color," West continued.

"And the fact that the No. 1 most-liked photo has a kind of aesthetic was a win for what the mission is, which is raising the palette," he added. (Kimye's wedding photo on Kardashian's Instagram set a record as the most-liked post ever on the social media platform, garnering more than 2 million likes.) "It was a long time… why did Annie Leibovitz pull out one day before the wedding?" 

Hey...Do you guys remember when rappers would like, rap about being from the street, and talk about their rough upbringings which ultimately led them to write really hard-hitting and meaningful songs that made you think about the grittiness that everybody in America kind of ignored?  Remember when Ice Cube famously said that today was a good day, because he didn't need to use his AK?  Remember all that?  Yeah-it's getting kind of lost now when the self-proclaimed "Greatest rapper alive" or whatever bullshit he calls himself is getting into cat fights with Annie Leibovitz and having wet dreams about Instagram.  Basically, what I'm saying is that Kanye West is a whiter, gayer, Scrooge McDuck.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Ernie McCracken from Kingpin

This guy's got perfect game!

We Miss Jesse Pinkman

What I wouldn't give for those days of off-brand, oversized ghetto garb.

Futbol Does Strange Things to People

Jennifer Lopez, Pitbull and Claudia Leitte performed at the opening ceremony of the World Cup in Brazil. From the looks of it, they are showing what percentage of integrity they each have left. Way to go Claudia.

These 2 Are Authors. That's Right, Published Authors.

Kendall and Kylie Jenner are only 18 and 16 years old, but somewhere in their busy schedules of filming their busy lives in which they, uh, um, say how busy their lives are, and wear see-through stuff and dye their hair, they…uh, thay rote book, oh my gosh, just luking at them is meltying my brane. Go save yurselfs before they're gypsie powurs get to yoo, to!!

R.I.P. Casey Kasem

After a battle with dementia, Casey Kasem passed away Sunday at the age of 82. Kasem had one of the most recognizable voices in show biz, and hosted Top 40 radio for nearly 40 years. He was also the voice of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, among others. He will be missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with those who loved and cared for him.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Charlie Rose

Talk about sitting at the cool table!

Happy Father's Day!



See Those Women Modeling? They're Not Models

It has long been rumored that models are stupid, ever since Twiggy tried to give her order to a dog that she mistook for her waiter. Well, Karlie Kloss and Miranda Kerr are possibly so stupid that they don't even know they're models. In an interview with The Edit on Net-a-Porter, Kerr says "From my first photoshoot at 14, I never saw myself as a model. If someone asks me what I do, I say, 'I have my own skincare line.'" Wait, do you actually have your own skincare line, or do you just say that like I say I'm a park ranger? Egads! Enough of your tomfoolery. Moving onto Kloss, she told Into the Gloss "I think that's why I treat myself more as an athlete than just a model. But I'm not a professional athlete, I'm not a professional dancer, I'm not a professional anything…" Umm, Cukooo. You girls get paid to model, so that makes you a professional model. I found out the hard way, when you get paid for something, the cops going to want to define you as that…it was a rough time okay!

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Flounder from Animal House

Rowrrr- Our favorite college boy!

This Man is a Gigolo? No Way!

According to TMZ, Lea Michele's new boyfriend Matthew Paetz once worked as a gigolo for the site Cowboys4Angels. He went under the alias Christian, much sexier than Matt Paetz I guess. Anywhoo, so what if he once had sex for money,  no biggie. Now, if her were once a juggalo, well that's a different story.

R.I.P. Ruby Dee

 

Via The New York Times:

 

Ruby Dee, one of the most enduring actresses of theater and film, whose public profile and activist passions made her, along with her husband, Ossie Davis, a leading advocate for civil rights both in show business and in the wider world, died on Wednesday at her home in New Rochelle, N.Y. She was 91.

Her daughter Nora Davis Day confirmed the death.

A diminutive, placid beauty with a sense of persistent social distress and a restless, probing intelligence, Ms. Dee began her performing career in the 1940s, and it continued well into the 21st century. She was always a critical favorite though not often cast as a leading lady.

She definitely made an impact and was a very talented lady.  Rest easy, Ruby and God bless.

This is Who is Currently Handling Clint Eastwoods Balls

 

His deliciously wrinkly, American-made balls. They'll kick your pansy ass as soon as look at ya, punk.

Adam Levine is a Douche you Say? Well He's Sorry, Goddamit

 

According to UsWeekly, Adam Levine wants to be such a great guy that he tots apologized to his ex-girlfriends for how he treated them (i.e. ignoring calls and breaking engagement news via text message) because if there is one thing Adam Levine stands for, it's integrity.  Integrity and tricking the womens.  Oh and balls.  He totally stands fro balls.

This is a Mother Now

 

 

According to her vagina, Lil' Kim has given birth to a baby girl named Royal Reign.  How do I know?  Because we are a legitimate news site and we have a team of reporters stationed 24/7 in Lil' Kim's cervix.  Those boys haven't seen their families since Clinton was in office-poor devils.  Good men, all of 'em-good men. 

TLC Slams Ri-Ri's Nipples, Yep That TLC Right There

I'm not sure if it's jealousy or one of those other woman emotions my mom hasn't told me about yet, but for some reason, T-Boz from TLC slammed Rihanna for "selling sex".  The irony of course, being that while T-Boz said that "every time I see you, you don't have to be naked" and some other backwards shit, this is the group that produced a song called Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg.  Your move, hypocrisy.  Check out the video below for the whole nine yards of nonsense.  

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Chef Mario Batali

Our favorite Chew boy toy

Prayers for Tracy Morgan

 

Sending out our prayers and positive vibes today to Tracy Morgan who was involved in a car crash and is currently in critical condition in a hospital in New Jersey.  

Get better Tracy, we love you!!

Melanie Griffith is Done With Antonio Banderas

 

Well I can't say I'm surprised.  Good thing her tattoo can easily be made to say "San Antonia Spurs" or "Pantonio"  (That's my super-hero identity...my secret skill is I steal panties.  Shh) 

J.Lo Didn't Want Casper to Be THAT Friendly

Jen, say hi to the tranny I've been sexting

It ain't too funny. Jennifer Lopez, and her 17 years younger dancer/choreographer boyfriend Casper Smart have split up after more than two years of dating. According to the The New York Post Smart had allegedly been sexting with transsexual models, which Jennifer was not too happy about I guess. Considering most transsexual models are trying to look like Jennifer Lopez, we think this relationship could have been saved with one word, or maybe two- a hyphenated word. Ughh, this is taking too long--it's a strap-on.

Today is the 70th Anniversary of D-Day

On June 6, 1944 Allied forces arrived on the beaches of Normandy, invading Nazi Occupied Europe. Many Americans lost their lives that day. War is ugly, but WWII's fighting and violence was to preserve the peace and freedom of our nation. These soldiers did not fight and die so that one day we could turn those weapons on each other.

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Jill Monroe from Charlie's Angels

The hottest angel! We miss you Farrah

Gisele Wins...She Wins it All.

That is all.

Prince Takes in a Little Tennis Before Heading Back to Home Planet

As the newly elected King of the Vulcans, Prince is able to parlay the French Open into his foreiegn diplomacy tour.

Yet Another Meeting of the Minds

Blake Lively is telling Beyoncé how much her husband Ryan Reynolds loves her song "Pretty Hurts."

"He sings along in the car, in the shower, in the kitchen." And Beyoncé is thinking "I didn't know Ke$ha, I mean Kesha, excuse me (sassy "excuse me" with finger wave) was married to Ryan Reynolds. Wait, who's Ryan Reynolds? Uh-oh, I just pulled my own finger."

HOTTIE OF THE DAY!

Paulette from Legally Blonde

 

The Bend and Snap never looked so damn hot.