Friday, November 30, 2012
Mommy, There's a Jared Leto Under My Bed
It's Samantha Jones . . .
I mean Sharon Stone. You know, when surrounded by firemen, it's very hard to tell the difference.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
If You've been Wondering What's Going on with Lisa Robin Kelly...
Actually..here is one of her several mugshots, this little number was taken after a fight with her 61 year old husband. Work it!
Oh, for those of you who have a life and/or job, and don't know who the hell she is, Lisa Robin Kelly played Laurie on That 70's Show, and not much else. So ya know, she's a total superstar, at least to the North Carolina Police Department.
Of Course Lindsay Lohan Got Arrested Again
Because her goal is to have a bigger arrest record than Mike Tyson, with half as much sexual assault, Lindsay Lohan punched somebody last night. Via Daily News:
Trouble-magnet Lindsay Lohan was busted yet again early Thursday in a chic Manhattan nightclub after punching another woman in a battle of the blondes, police sources said.
“Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?” the 26-year-old starlet said, according to TMZ.com, after cops slapped on the handcuffs outside the Chelsea hotspot Avenue around 4 a.m.
The “Mean Girls” star, 26, was bolting from the nightclub in a friend’s car when police stopped her and brought her to the 10th Precinct stationhouse, the celebrity web site reported.
Her alleged victim, Tiffany Eve Mitchell, 28, was also questioned at the W. 20th St. police station, but was released.
Lohan was issued a desk appearance ticket and is due in court Jan. 11. Later, she was rushed out of the stationhouse with a coat covering her head.
Lohan — a veteran of five trips to rehab — was accompanied by a man and they left the Chelsea precinct in a black Escalade. She was still dressed for a night of clubbing: Leggings, a green mini skirt and high-heels.
Damn...five trips to rehab and like a hundred court appearences? *Let's seeee...carry the five, minus the one...jams keys on calculator* Yep! got it...female troubles. Case closed.
HOTTIE OF THE DAY!
The Kirchenbauer Family from Just the Ten of Us
Lest we forget...this was a show.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Hey! Demi Moore isn't Trying to be Younger, She Just Happens to Find Younger Douchey Men Attractive! Is That A Crime?
SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!!! Are You Ready for the MOST Exciting News from Will and Kate?!!!
Kate got motherfucking side bangs! Boom.
Angus T. Jones Apologizes for Calling Everything Filth
"I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed," the actor said in a statement that likened the cast and crew to "an extension of my family." Jones, 19, who plays Jake Harper on the show, also thanked creator Chuck Lorre, Warner Bros. and CBS, which airs the sitcom, "for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them."
Personally, I think he should have just stuck by the statement with no apology. I mean, next to what Charlie Sheen said two years ago about Chuck Lorre, calling the show filth is like giving him a present and a handy-j.
Speaking of presents...this video is pretty funny. Watch and send me a thank you note whenever.
Jessica Simpson is Pregnant Again? Suck it Weight Watchers!
According to UsWeekly, Jessica Simpson is pregnant just seven months after having her first child with fiance Eric Johnson. Apparently it was a huge surprise, because Jessica was always under the impression that birds flew South for the Winter, so there was no way the stork could bring her another baby right now, right? But I guess stranger things have happened.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Gabriel Aubry got his Ass Kicked by Olivier Martinez
Apparently, that picture above is what happens when you mess with someone named "Olivier"...who'd a thunk it? via UsWeekly:
The French model, 36, claims he was attacked by Martinez, 46, in the midst of a heated exchange after he dropped off Nahla, his 4-year-old daughter with Berry. In his legal declaration, the Wilhelmina model said Martinez vowed to kill Aubry if he didn't move to Paris.
Ohhh..."if you don't move to Paris" now I see...them's fightin' words.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Apparently, Lindsay Sucked Dick
Liz & Dick premiered on Lifetime on Sunday night, and while I always try to watch anything with 'dick' in the title, I guess I dodged a bullet with this one:
The Hollywood Reporter: Both an awful mess and an instant classic of unintentional hilarity.
The Star.com: No one expected her to be anything but awful. And we were not disappointed.
Elizabeth Taylor's Ghost: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?????????
Amanda Bynes to Sanity: Get the Fuck Outta Here
"She widdled and widdled into the night, until there was nothing left. Maw called in the children for supper, but they just sat and stared at the beast until she started to sing a haunting tune of times past...'Amanda-manda-manda-manda-manda shhhoooowwwwww' she sang. Was there for weeks she was, 'til the po-lice came and snatched her up with a net."
-Excerpt from The Dust Bowl: The Amanda Bynes Story By Ken Burns.
Lest we forget
We Got Class. We Got Class Out the Ass
Britney Spears and her sister Jaime-Lynn head on over to Turrget with Britney's sons Sean and Jayden. Sean is trying very hard to cover up the white-trashiness by walking like a confident executive, while Jayden is hanging back, assessing how he can make a break for it.
R.I.P. Deborah Raffin
Deborah Raffin, most recently known for the role of Aunt Julie on 7th Heaven passed away last Wednesday after a battle with Leukemia. She had gained acclaim for her role in the 1980 Television movie Haywire, in which she played the daughter of legendary Hollywood hotshot Leland Heyward and Margaret Sullavan. Raffin was also a successful book publisher, working with the likes of Amy Tan and Sidney Sheldon. Deborah leaves a daughter, Taylor Rose Viner.
How Can We Screw Anna Nicole Smith's Child Up Even More?
Let's see, Dannielynn Birkhead's older half-brother dies of an overdose when she's born, her mother dies of an overdose a short time later, she is at the center of a bitter paternity test between an opportunistic photographer and a creepy lawyer who was convicted (the conviction was recently overturned) of supplying her mother with the drugs that caused her overdose. Luckily? the opportunistic photographer is her father? Anyway, let's get this 6-year-old involved with the cut-throat world of modeling. Let's have her model for the same brand that made her mother famous. Yeah, let's do that again!
Paz De La Heurta Don't Give a FUCK
My mom smoked when she was pregnant with me too...and I turned out bmfdfrprmg......
Angus T. Jones Rips "Two and a Half Men"
In a video on youtube, Angus T. Jones calls his show Two and a Half Men filth, and urges viewers to stop watching. Click here to watch his fourteen minute rant, and judge for yourself if this is a hoax or not. My money is on the fact that he was super pissed they made his character date Miley Cyrus on the show...Tank Girl Miley Cyrus. Oh, and I suggest skipping to about the seven minute mark, that's where the meat is.
On a personal note, I agree that any show that replaces Charlie Sheen with Douche Mcscruff is definitely filth ...super douchey moist filth.
Tom Cruise Shuts it Down
For his new movie, All You Need is Kill, Tom Cruise was able to shut down the bustling Trafalgar Square of London to shoot a helicopter scene. What a brat! Is it just me or does he remind of you the kid from The Toy?
He's Not White Trash, He's Canadian
So, Justin Bieber was presented with the Jubilee Medal by the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper this past week, and he wore overalls, causing much backlash. So, if denim on denim is a Canadian Tuxedo, Justin's overalls would be what? A Canadian Onesie, maybe?
Sunday, November 25, 2012
R.I.P. Hector "Macho" Camacho
Hector "Macho" Camacho passed away Saturday shortly after he was taken off of life support for injuries he sustained from gun shots in his native Puerto Rico. During his career he got in the ring with Felix Trinidad, Julio Cesar Chavez and Sugar Ray Leonard, who he knocked out in 1997. Camacho was 50 years old.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Friday, November 23, 2012
R.I.P. Larry Hagman (1931-2012)
Larry Hagman, the actor best known as the ruthless oilman J.R. Ewing on TV’s Dallas, died Friday afternoon. He was 81.
Members of his family said Hagman died of complications stemming from his recent battle with cancer. “Larry was back in his beloved Dallas, re-enacting the iconic role he loved most,” the family said in a statement. “Larry’s family and close friends had joined him in Dallas for the Thanksgiving holiday. When he passed, he was surrounded by loved ones. It was a peaceful passing, just as he had wished for. The family requests privacy at this time.”
TNT, which airs the current version of Dallas, issued the following statement: “All of us at TNT are deeply saddened at the news of Larry Hagman’s passing. He was a wonderful human being and an extremely gifted actor. We will be forever thankful that a whole new generation of people got to know and appreciate Larry through his performance as J.R. Ewing. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family at this very difficult time.”
I personally loved Larry Hagman. I read an interview with him a few months ago and the guy was freaking awesome; seriously cool and just someone I always wanted to meet. God Bless, Larry...you will be missed, but you're gonna make a damn fine angel.
Oh Good...Snooki is 25
This is What You Get for Allowing Doug Hutchison Out of the House
Because TE loves all of you so much, here's Courtney Stodden and her new face groping a cardboard turkey, on her endless crusade to porn-ize every single holiday out there. I can't wait to see what she has in store for Kwanzaa...though I am confident naked black face won't fly with most people.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Because Fame Whoring Doesn't Just HAPPEN, People...
Not to be outdone by her "Tampa Socialite" twin, Natalie Khawam held a press conference for absolutely no reason with
Smart money is on these broads are getting a Bravo reality show and day now. It will be called Slagathors of Sunset and they will have catchy intro music. So sayeth the elders.
Here is the video of the press conference. It's just a hoot. Ignore the fact it may be taped off someone's t.v. and enjoy the fact that this is what happens when the head of the C.I.A. is about as savvy as a seventeen year old behind the bleachers.
Kimora Lee Simmons and Djimon Hounsou Break Up After She Found Out He Wasn't Taye Diggs
This is kind of embarrassing, but I totally thought you were someone else
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
R.I.P. Mr. Food (Art Ginsburg 1931-2012)
Art Ginsburg, the delightfully dorky television chef known as Mr. Food, died at his home in Weston, Fla., Wednesday following a struggle with pancreatic cancer. He was 81.
Ginsburg - who enticed viewers for decades with a can-do focus on easy weeknight cooking and the tagline "Ooh! It's so good!" - was diagnosed just over a year ago. The cancer had gone into remission following early treatments and surgery, but returned earlier this month.
"Art's commitment to anyone-can-do recipes and passion for helping others made him well-loved among his peers and among television viewers and website visitors. He was one of the first television celebrity chefs and paved a road for many who came after him," a note on hiswebsite explained. "His greatest love was for his wife, Ethel, and his family. Our hearts go out to them and to all who were touched by his daily visit into your homes via the television."
God bless, Mr. Food...the world can learn a lot from the happiness you brought us.
Click here for turkey carving tips from Mr. Food, and to see his warm and winning personality.
Jenelle Evans From Teen Mom (The Deuce) is Engaged
Jenelle Evans is pleased to announce that she is engaged to her boyfriend of a few months Courtland Rogers, per US Weekly. The wedding promises to be a grand affair, "Tomorrow we are going to start planning!" The delightful Miss Evans tweeted. "OMG I've never been this happy in my life. It's like a fantasy coming true." This following a tweet she posted just Saturday, "iPhone got smashed to pieces once again . . .You Def aren't touching my body tonight, not even the touch of my skin tonight or possibility forever. . ." That's weird. This is the first marriage amidst a barrage of broken engagements and disfunctional relationships for Miss Evans. She also has several arrests, a kid, and a pain-in-the-ass mother. Cheers to the happy couple.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Jennifer Lawrence Might Be Retarded
On last night's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Jennifer Lawrence said that she caused a car accident because she thought she saw Honey Boo Boo: via UsWeekly
"I was driving home from work and I thought I saw Honey Boo Boo," the Silver Linings Playbook star, 22, explained. "It was a breast cancer parade. Now I know it said 'boobs' on [their shirts], but I thought it said 'boo boo.' So I was like, 'Does that mean it's Honey Boo Boo?'"
Lawrence continued: "I started craning my neck, and then I saw a little girl and was like, 'That's Honey Boo Boo!' I was still driving and then I rear-ended the person in front of me."
I hope the person she rear-ended has that insurance that covers mentally challenged people hitting you because they wanted to see another mentally challenged pre-diabetic 7 year old. If they don't, they are fuuucked.
Evan Rachel Wood: I'm not pregnant
Everyone Else: We don't care
Evan Rachel Wood took to her Twitter to make the announcement that she is indeed NOT expecting a creature in 9 months or less. "Sorry to disappoint. But no baby on the way here!" Thanks Wood, I had a surplus of space in my brain that I needed to fill with something, it was between this and what Chris Daughtry is doing to stay in shape on tour, but this fit better.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Taylor Swift is so Not a Slut
So once again, Taylor Swift has sunken her oversized teeth into another member of the male(?) population...it doesn't really matter who, but for you inquisitive types, it's one of the kids from One Direction. I think it's the one who looks like a British girl-oh wait...
Sluttery: Because when your Aunt Darlene does it, you're not allowed to share a glass with her at the dinner table, but if it's Taylor Swift, just slap her on a Walgreens ad and all is kewl. :)
Would You Just Look At These Two
Listen, the facts are pretty fuzzy in the Ariel Winter case, but she and her sister are hamming it up all over town like the freakin' Bobbsey Twins. All I'm saying is if I were alleging abuse against my mother, I wouldn't be wearing booty shorts. I would be wearing a body cast, even if I didn't need it. Goodness Child, isn't your lawyer giving you any good advice? FYI, did you know that Ariel is the sister of Pugsley Addams from The Addams Family movies. Just thought that was interesting, carry on.
Just Because We Have To . . .
It is our duty to report that Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are not, I'm sorry, I mean are back together.
Mommy, is it okay if Selena sleeps over?
Hank Azaria Involved in Stupidest Lawsuit Ever
So basically, Hank Azaria is suing Craig Bierko over the rights to a character he created for this funny or die video...basically, Craig Bierko said he created the character in the video, and Hank Azaria is all like, "no, I totally did in 1983" and while, as a HUGE Simpsons fanatic, I applaud Moe for not seeking money, this sort of just sounds like something two kids argue about over lunch at school..."I created the spitting his milk out of his nose walrus...NO I DID!"
R.I.P. Billy Scott (1942-2012)
Keep partying, Billy. God Bless.
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